Why she thinks you’re an Idiot: 12 Words You’re Saying the Wrong Way

Unimpressed Woman

Dating advice rarely comes in the form of English lessons, but we’re here to serve you Pronunciation 101 free of charge.  If you’re trying to impress that cute girl in the office with the semi-awkward lisp and nice legs, it isn’t going to work when you speak as if it is a miracle you got the job in the first place. Learning how to pronounce words correctly will not only help in the dating world, but it is a useful skill for every social and professional setting out there.

So next time you go chat with a lady, do not fret my friend! Just fix the error by readin these 10 commonly mispronounced words. You may just have a chance with what’s-her-name yet as long as you don’t say anything too profoundly stupid with your correctly pronounced English

1. Wash vs. Warsh

/WASH/ not /WARSH/
Do you want to give away that you grew up in a van by the river? There is no “r” in wash! How did this pronunciation disaster even happen? Anyways, why are you talking about washing anything in casual conversation? That is at least a second or third date topic. Oh and I promise you, she does not care about how often you wash your fancy sport car.

2. Ask vs. Aks

/ASK/ not /AKS/
If you want to ask someone on a date make sure you /ASK/ them not /AKS/ them out to dinner, coffee, ice cream or whatever you may have planned. When you /AKS/ someone to go out with you, chances are they are going to say “no” until you stop speaking like their 5 year old nephew.

3. Candidate vs. Canidate

/KAN-DI-DATE/ not /KAN-I-DATE/
Talking politics? Some chicks may dig the fact that you are politically active- as long as you support the same party as they do. When enthusiastically speaking about how awesome your favorite lying piece of- woops, can’t say that word on here- is compared to that other guy, make sure that you know that he is a /KAN-DI-DATE/ not a /KAN-I-DATE/.

4. Clothes vs. Cloz

/KLOTHZ/ or /KLOZ/

When you go to compliment a woman of interest on her outfit, make sure that you know how to say the word correctly. She does not have nice /KLOZ/ but rather she is wearing nice /KLOTHZ/. Also, you probably should be more specific on what item of clothing you are complimenting exactly. Start with “that is a nice *fill in the blank*”, because by mentioning a specific part of her outfit it will make it appear like you are actually paying attention- although we all know you are thinking more about what is underneath that cute, pink top.

5. Library vs. Liberry

/LI-BER-RY/ not /LI-BERRY/
Bringing up the fact you like to go to the library or participate in other positive activities is a great way to grab a woman’s attention. However, if you tell her you like to go to the /LI-BER-RY/, she may think you’re going there for adult learning courses on reading rather than to explore the world of literature. Adding the “r” may feel unnatural at first, but it makes you sound educated, maybe even a little British. Chicks dig the Brits.

6. Espresso vs. Expresso

/ESS-PRESS-O/ not /EX-PRESS-O/

Want to ask a girl out for coffee? You can snazzy up the date without even choosing a different café by asking her out for “espresso” not just plain old coffee. Just make sure you pronounce it /ESS-PRESS-O/ not /EX-PRESS-O/.  Also, it may be a good idea to check if you actually like espresso, so you don’t end up asking a girl out for a beverage you can’t stand.

7. Jewelry vs. Jewlry

/JEW-EL-RY/ not /JEW-EL-ERY/ or /JEWL-RY/

Just as a warning, by complimenting a girls’ taste in jewelry you are bordering on the “is he gay?” line. Can’t saw we didn’t warn you! Anyways, if she does have a particularly cool taste in jewelry that you want to compliment, it is pronounced /JEW-EL-RY/ not /JEW-EL-ERY/ or /JEWL-RY/. Although given how many people mispronounce the word jewelry, there is a good chance she may not even notice that you are saying this word wrong.

8. Buhnahl vs. Banal

/buh-NAHL/ not /BAY-nul/

Banal?! Not on the first date there buddy! Seriously though, banal is a good word to insert into conversation to show that you have a larger than average vocabulary. Don’t worry, to impress a chick you only need a handful of “big” words to make yourself sound intelligent, so maybe add three to four more words to your vocabulary for extra credit points! Anyways, if you pronounce the word /BAY-nul/ rather than /buh-NAHL/ it sounds a bit crude on top of just being the wrong pronunciation. Because we’re you’re friend, to save you some time from Googling the word according to the Merriam-Webster dictionary banal means “so lacking in originality as to be obvious and boring”.

9. Uhrye vs. Awwree

/UH-RYE/ not /AWW-REE/

Something has gone awry with the pronunciation of awry lately. Given the phonetics of this word, I can almost understand why so many people are confused. The correct pronunciation of awry is /UH-RYE/ not /AWW-REE/. So when something goes wrong with your date, you can help buffer the blow by something has gone awry! It is funny and endearing to chicks to use this word for some reason, trust me.

10. Regardless vs Irregardless

This is not really a matter of pronunciation but more of a matter of usage. “Irregardless” is just not really a word. Regardless of what you’ve heard or been told, this new word “irregardless” just really shouldn’t exist. Even if your date thinks this is word, help stop spreading the stupidity by not using the word yourself. P.S. DON’T correct her if she uses “irregardless”, or for that matter mispronounces any of the words on this list, on the first date. No one likes a patronizing, smarty pants, so I know at this point of the article you’re already beginning to hate me!

11. Supposedly vs Supposably

/SUP-POS-ED-LY/ not /SUP-POS-AB-LY/

Supposedly, you want to impress this girl, but by mispronouncing words like this one you aren’t doing so hot. This is yet another one of those mispronunciations that make you sound as if you just wandered out of the nursery into a first date with a grown woman somehow. You can make yourself sound 100% time more mature to the lady in question by using the correct pronunciation of supposedly!

12. Escape vs Excape

/ES-CAPE/ not /EX-CAPE/

When it comes time to escape this first date when the cute girl starts telling you the detailed soap opera about her three cats and ex-boyfriend, you can escape the date to a bar with your new found understanding of pronunciation. Now it may not be as hard to pick up the girl of your dreams or even just a one night stand. Tell your sob story about the terrible first date and how you had to /ES-CAPE/ that round of coffee before you went absolutely bonkers!

 

Cheers!

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