Terrence Kennedy
I think everyone in a relationship has experienced a specific time when you feel being intimate with your partner but she doesn’t reciprocate the feeling because she’s “not in the mood”. And, no matter what sexual advancement you do to her she’s as stiff as a rock and utterly nonchalance to whatever fondling you do.
This is quite normal on the level of being occasional. But, if she persists on being this way each and every time then I think you might have to address the problem and look for a probable solution to save your sexual relationship.
The success of a relationship does not only lean on excellent communication but also physical intimacy.
"Sex plays an undeniably significant role in how you and your girlfriend connect. So when your girlfriend doesn't feel like hitting the sheets, then there has to be something wrong..."
There's a myriad of reasons why she doesn't want sex, ranging from emotional to physical factors. It's imperative to mention that men and women have a distinct difference in handling and controlling emotional feelings.
Why Your Girlfriend Doesn't Want Sex
Fatigue completely turns her off
Fatigue ranks high up the list as one of the reasons your girlfriend may not want to have sex. She may have had a long day at work and probably feels too exhausted to have sex with you.
While you would feel disappointed, you should understand her. I bet you wouldn't feel like having sex while exhausted too. Sex and emotional intimacy are worlds different from each other.
In most serious relationships, however, the latter is a more appropriate description.
Men are driven and turned on by what they see. Moreover, they are controlled by the urge to release sperms on specific, timely basis.
Ladies lack a counter reaction of this manner. They are purely attracted to men based on how he cares for her and emotional in-depth involved.
One thing that most men ignore is that emotional and sexual intimacy go hand in hand.
Here’s iHealthTube’s take on being too tired for physical intimacy:
Infidelity will steal her desire away
Another reason that has been noticed over decades is infidelity. It is a thief of happiness in most homes and relationships. A woman who gets laid outside marriage will, for obvious reasons, avoid you in bed. It’s sad but it’s true in most cases. Men cannot be entirely be blamed for this.
It’s kind of a norm in the society, and men have a fair share of this too. If anything, statistics show that most men cheat in either marriage or relationships than women do.
Other than the obvious reason that one could be getting better sex on the other end, science brings it out differently. A chemical, oxytocin, released at orgasm is responsible for bonding. It’s funny, right?
The more a man gets sexually intimate with his partner, the more attracted he is to her. Imagine if he gets it outside of marriage, it worsens the situation.
Here’s a woman’s take on the reasons why they succumb to cheating by Emiily Hart:
It may be about you after all
Think of it, this is a painful truth but the earlier you accept it, the better and smoother for both of you.
Sometimes we men are the problem on why our girlfriend doesn’t want sex. This may arise due to emotional problems between couples.
As we know already, women and men function differently when it comes to sex. Such reasons as communication breakdown in the relationship may be deemed as petty, but they actually aren’t.
For some peculiar reason, women always want to be in control. If you do things around like you solely own things, don’t be surprised. It might not be the same when in bed anyway. Intimacy is far way more than just sex.
Are there traces of resentment?
Come to think of it, one more stumbling block on this topic is resentment. There are endless possibilities of what she resents about you.
It could be in the past or the present, some of which she might be holding intentionally or unintentionally.
These resentments often hold her back during sex. She needs to be free of those inhibitions to enjoy your sexual experience all the way. In this case, a counselor can be of great help.
A philosopher once said, ‘ninety percent of man’s problems stem from the inability to sit down quietly in a room’. Which means, even some of these problems we see to be so big have solutions anyway. We only need to observe and listen.
I don’t want to guess whose mistake it might be between the couples. But I am sure to ascertain that of these ’problems’ (I would rather call them misunderstandings) some are just small things blown out of proportion.
Needless to say, if both come to an amicable ground emotional intimacy can be achieved, hence, resulting to better sex. “Compromise” is the word. Couples just need to sit down and listen to each other and address the problem.
Worth noting
I would say, though, as opposed to common beliefs marriage is not a power sharing kind of deal. Other times either side needs to make sacrifices. A little step more than your partner does a great deal of good.
You might want to try it out, perhaps helping in cleaning dishes, giving a helping hand in doing laundry. Doing this or that, the list is long, taking a shower together etcetera.
In relationships, they say, it is the small gestures of thoughtfulness that counts.
All of this are geared towards ensuring emotional safety for your partner. This in the greater end maximizes sexual pleasure.The intimacy may be thought of to be sexual intimacy, but this is not the case.
Some people even use the two words interchangeably, but they actually mean two different things. They are as diverse as they sound. A couple needs to develop a healthy partnership first.
As others would say, put love in place first and other things will follow simultaneously. If sex is forged before all these, it is bound to fail. Women are attracted to entirely different aspects contrary to men.
So, it is of importance that you build an attraction first on women before you can actually get laid otherwise only one thing is going to happen. She will turn you down.
Here’s a possibility:
You may be having an instant on-switch when it comes to sex but she lacks it. Do you expect her to jump to bed each time your urge shoots and you want to have sex immediately?
Think about foreplay and the significant difference it can make. Dont simply focus on getting in. The bottom line is that she may not just be in the mood to have sex with you. Set her in the mood first.
You’re not good enough at intimacy
This should never come as a surprise, but how good you are at sex counts significantly and she’s going to want you even more.
Where most guys go wrong is the thought that being good in bed means lasting longer or being proficient at a variety of sexual positions.
Well, I’m not discrediting this, but something else is more important: The aspect of Emotion. Always focus on the emotional connection you have with your girl during intimacy.
If you’re a nagging boyfriend then you can be sure that you’re killing your girlfriend’s sex drive. A survey by Your Tango revealed that 44% of nagging women leads not only to less frequent but also less satisfying sex.
In an ivillage national survey 93% agreed that good sex is important in a relationship. Specifically, 40% of women found it as one of the most important things. So the next time you’re wondering why she doesn't want to have sex, think about how good or bad you have been in bed.
Any attempts in reversing this bring us to what we are talking about. She wouldn’t like it, or better said, she wouldn’t want to get laid. If you’re doing these things you already know the answer on why your girlfriend doesn't want sex.