Our editors carefully select every product. If you buy from a link, we may earn a commission. Learn More.

How to Win Over a Girl: Impress Her Without Needing to Change

Having scoured the internet for articles on how to win over a girl, you’re probably getting tired of being advised to be yourself or to behave like a jerk or a bad boy. If you’re like me, these bits of common advice do nothing for you.

I mean, surely each woman is different, each one with their own tastes and preferences when it comes to men; making it seem ridiculous that there is a one-size-fits-all approach to winning any girl over.

But lengthy articles crafted by pickup artists and dating gurus are grabbing at the cash box while praying on young men without the confidence to question their success, giving out tidbits of unsavoury techniques that worked for them (since by and large they have no conscience), assuming that you have the ability to be that kind of person when trying to win over a girl.

But there must surely be a better way to impress a girl without having to become someone you’re not going to like.

Well, if you have been trying to impress a specific girl in your life to try and reign her in to your life on a more permanent basis, here is a little bit of advice that doesn't require you to become something that you’re not.

How to Win Over a Girl: Impress Her Without Compromising Your True Self

how to win over a girl

"Each woman is different, each one with their own tastes and preferences when it comes to men..."

Stop downplaying your dress code or you'll look like an idiot everytime

While not all women are looking for the James Bond type, there is something to be said about the eye-catching power of a well-dressed man. It has been said that a gentleman in a well-tailored suit has the same effect on a woman that a hottie in lingerie has on a man, so it stands to reason that dressing to impress is a great way to make a first impression to get you out of the starting gate.

Of course this rule is situational:

If you are meeting a girl at a reggae party, punk or goth party, chances are your tailored suit will make you stick out for all the wrong reasons.

The point is, pay attention to the way you dress and take pride in your grooming in whichever way suits your personal sense of style (sweatpants and wife beater vests not included), and it will show her that you are the type to pay attention to detail.

Make and maintain eye contact

You might think that your shy-boy attitude can do you credit with certain types of girls, but there is a big difference between being the mysterious and tortured soul, and being downright flakey.

Eye contact is essential for building an initial connection, so fight the urge to look away when she faces you and give her the two or three seconds of eye contact needed to show her that you are both confident and intrigued in her. Take care however not to try and push the encounter by staring at her like a lofty creep. Let it happen naturally, and under no circumstances should you let your gaze drop from her face to her chest (even if you think she isn't looking).

There is a time and place for marveling at her mammaries; during your ice-breaking conversations is absolutely not it.

Show her that chivalry isn’t dead

There are some rather varied opinions on modern chivalry with some people thinking there isn't enough of it in the world, while others see it as an outdated way of behaving that undermines the independence of women; making it a little difficult for those who want to be the gentleman-type.

To help you do it right, all you need to do is get the idea of chivalry right in your head:

When you open a door for her, walk closest to the road on the sidewalk, buy her flowers or let her go first, you are not sending a message that she is incapable of doing these things herself; you are in fact showing her that she is someone worthy of honour and respect; an ideal which does not have to conflict with her independence as a woman.

Think before you speak

Dirty jokes, stories about other women and bragging about your own accomplishments might go down easily with your male friends, but when it comes to women, all you are doing is demonstrating your classlessness.

Before any utterance exits your mouth, take a few seconds to think about what you are about to say so as not to slip up in front of her. This applies not only to what you say when you feel the need to get conversations going, but also when you are replying to her.

Take care even when talking to other people in front of her.

Careless insults and undermining remarks to others in her presence might make you feel like you are establishing dominance, but all you’re really doing is showing her just how much of an ass you can be.

Put your phone away

Have you ever met up with somebody only to spend the entire time watching them stare moronically at their phone and thought ‘why the hell am I even here if we’re not talking?’ Of course you have! This is the twenty-first century and it seems like very few people have figured out phone etiquette yet.

If you are meeting up with her, or even just meeting her for the first time, put your emails, text messages and Facebook feeds on hold until later.

Show her that you are the type who values genuine human interaction over digital distractions and you will already stand out from the crowd.​

Make her friends your friends

A genuine fear for anyone considering entering a relationship concerns what effect it will have on their other friendships; so show her that in your case, there is nothing to fear.

Play nice with her friends, both guys and gals. Get into conversations and try and strike up friendships with them (even the ones that you don’t like). Never, under any circumstances bad mouth her mates. If she is running on a tangent about them, listen patiently without hurling insults out. If they are her friends, she has the right to bitch about them, you don’t. At the same time, this doesn't mean you need to bend over backward for them or to put up with abuse.

She should be getting the most attention out of her group from you and sometimes you need to have a bit of polite backbone in the face of the ones who treat you like crap (and there is at least one in every group).

Winning over her friends is a great way to show her that you could easily slot into her life. But be warned, the worst of her friends will likely lay down a few traps to see if you are worthy.​

Keep your jealousy in check

It is perfectly natural to feel insecure when you think your chances with a girl are threatened by the other men in her life but one of the worst things you can do in response to this is to show it.

She has likely made friends with plenty of guys before meeting you, many of which may indeed desire to take her from you but that doesn't mean she is going to run off with them anytime soon.

Being possessive, needy and insecure is not only a major turn off for women, it is a downright deal-breaker.

She needs to know that you are secure enough to have no problem with her being independent, and you also need to give her a little more credit than that.

By showing her that you are jealous you are essentially telling her that you can't trust her not to sleep with every guy she sees; and if you can't see what is insulting about that, then you have a very long way to go.

What do you think?

Written by Terrence Kennedy

Terrence Kennedy is the man’s man on a journey to self-discovery. A traveler, extreme sports aficionado, an observant wanderer, a DIY-Know-How, an ultimate outsider and a documentarist of culture, sex, dating, relationship, fashion, style and gentleman's etiquette. He has learned a lot through his escapades, and is happy to pass that knowledge on to you.