Terrence Kennedy
It’s no secret people often get it wrong when it comes to love, dating, sex, romance and attraction in general. While it may seem a complicated, science of attractiveness is one thing you can easily understand with just a pinch of attention to certain details. The following is a guide to open you up to the science of sexual attraction.
"People often get it wrong when it comes to love, dating, sex, romance and attraction in general"
Unlike what most people have always thought, Attraction has little to do with looks. Of course, we’re not saying that a person cannot get physically attracted to someone, we’re just saying there are more factors to it and looks come way down the list.
People tend to be drawn towards the confidence, personality, and passion of the opposite sex.
The Science of Attraction - 4 Facts To Have In Mind
There is more to attraction than just appearance.
What's the bottom line? Let me get deeper. Attraction is not only the foundation of getting a romantic partner whom you’d want to feel beside you every night, but we are often inclined to working with certain people.
You’ll notice that we're usually attracted to coffee shops because we feel drawn to their vibe, their location or menu. That's the same way attraction works. If you want to make people attracted to you, if you want to understand how feelings within an individual work, then I bet you want to learn the rules of attraction.
Let’s see what research has found out to explain the mystery of sexual attraction.
Know your personality type for you to get your match
Look, if the success of dating sites like chemistry.com and E-harmony, which are algorithm based, is indicative of traditional beliefs, it would turn out that there is an overwhelming consensus on 'happily ever after' being rooted firmly in matching based on personality.
Studies of anthropologist behind the chemistry.com website, Dr. Hellen Fisher has made four categories of daters according to their personality styles. Check them out the Fishers Model of Personality
- Negotiators- this group of daters is imaginative, intuitive, idealistic and compassionate
- Directors- these are analytical, aggressive and decisive
- Explorers- these daters are drawn to risks, creativity, optimism, and impulsivity
- Builders- here, we find a group of daters who are more cautious, persistent and traditional
None of us may fall into one distinct category, but the primary style of a person is dependent on their body’s reaction to testosterone, estrogen, dopamine and serotonin.
Hence, the chemistry of attraction leans on whether your personality either matches or conflicts with your prospective sexual partner and is deeply rooted in the interaction between hormonal response and behavior.
Check out this video "What Type of Girl is For You":
How Hormones Play a Role
Years of hormone activity trigger sexual attraction, arousal, and desire as a number of chemicals respond to external stimuli. It, therefore, makes sense, that hormones play a critical role in the determination of sexual chemistry.
Testosterone and estrogen often take center stage as pheromones inject a subconscious whiff of fertility leading to a lustful attraction.
The chemistry of attraction is further developed as Norepinephrine, serotonin, and dopamine encourage sexual attraction, and Vasopressin and Oxytocin promote bonding with a partner.
What do we, therefore, notice upon the application of fisher’s model of personality styles to the hormonal role of sexual chemistry determination?
We see more accurate means in which biology may determine behavior and sexual partner selection. For instance, explorers often tend to be energetic, curious and prone to boredom.
Fisher associates these elements to the variation in the hormone dopamine which leads to a desire for novelty, adventure, and excitement. Conversely, when the serotonin activity is elevated, it results in the behavior typical in builders like self-control, respect for authority and consciousness.
Fascinatingly, explorers and builders tend to be attracted to their own kind while the directors, whose behaviors are deeply rooted in higher levels of testosterone, and negotiators, who exhibit an elevated level of oxytocin and estrogen tend to attract each other.
How we look (and why the looks of our parents has a say on our choice) will give a lead
Whether you love brunettes, blonds or gingers, physical attraction always lays the groundwork for attraction science.
Imperative to note is that attraction and chemistry are two very different things, and the former can exist without the latter and the other way round. Science, however, suggests that biology may have a hand in physical attraction.
I advise you take these fascinating facts with a pinch of salt and keep in mind that sexual chemistry is fingerprint unique.
Facial symmetry counts. According to Kendra Schmid, who is the assistant professor of biostatistics at the University of Nebraska Medical Center, the perfect length to width ratio stands at 1.6 and a three equal thirds division (bottom of the forehead to nose, then bottom of the nose to chin) is just good enough.
Well, I wouldn’t waste my energy finding a ruler for this one.
- Men think women are more attractive during ovulation; researchers believe this is due to glow or natural flush on the skin
- Men and women who were born when their parents were the age of thirty and above tend to be attracted to facial age cues and not youthful looks.
- Both men and women are attracted to partners who have the same hair and eye color as their opposite-sex parents.
- Individuals with darker limbal rings (the ring around the iris) are generally rated as more attractive. So, guys, it’s in your eyes!
- Research has found out that rocking a red outfit increases your sexual attractiveness. So again, it’s in your choice of clothing color.
Men can Detect a Fertile Woman
Thanks to part of her pheromones men can actually sense a fertile woman .There’s a particular scent women usually give out in her most fertile time of menstrual cycle.
This scent often attracts men to the girl.In a study conducted in the University of Texas a group of women was asked to put on Tshirts during each point (fertile and infertile) in their monthly cycle.
Men were then asked to smell the t-shirts and point out which of them had a nice smell. They overwhelmingly agreed that the t-shirts by fertile women smelled better.
To the minority of men who doesn't here's a quick look:
The Environment She Grew Up in?
A study by the Face Research Laboratory indicated that ladies who hail from poor environments have preference for masculine men compared to their counterparts living in urban areas who have preference for men with feminine look.
So, after all, women have evolved to seek much more than virility.
When chemistry dies out…
The elevation from passionate to companionate love is usually attributed to time, but it’s apparent now that certain elements can significantly impact chemistry.
When you first encounter and connect with a love interest, you often tend to chat on an array of topics and reveal more personal details within a short time. The intimacy, anxiety, and excitement of coming to know about the person you’re sexually attracted to, coupled with the expectation of new physical intimacy stirs up a cascade of bodily chemical reactions interpreted as chemistry or passion.
This feeling, however, dies out with time as you and your partner become more secure and comfortable with each other.
Interestingly, passion can be cultivated by reproducing a few emotional and environmental components of your early meetings.
Having your life away from your partner is one way of creating more opportunities for physical longing for each other and revealing conversations.
As well doing some activities that boost adrenaline such as rock climbing or hiking is helpful in rekindling the kind of chemistry you had in the beginning.
To conclude
It’s vital to understand what the science of attraction entails as it will help you significantly in the success of your love life...