Terrence Kennedy
Attraction is a fairly complex phenomenon, filled with so many nuances and signs that correctly spotting it can be a terrifically frustrating ordeal.
So wouldn't it be nice to know exactly what to look for when trying to tell whether a girl is into you, so as to be able to make your next move correctly and with confidence?
While the human race can boast knowing a lot about what causes attraction and how to spot it swelling in those around you; being able to take that information into the field and use it practically isn’t always so straightforward.
The truth is that there are few secrets to how a girl might react when she decides she likes you (if she is even aware of it), or whether she is avoiding you when a girl ignores you.
"She might be fully aware of the signs she is giving off and is trying to hide them, or she might just be too shy to take any action..."
She might be fully aware of the signs she is giving off and is trying to hide them, or she might just be too shy to take any action.
Since you might have to take matters into your own hands when dealing with a girl who is into you, here are a few common signs that she might be interested, even if she is trying her damnedest not to show it.
When a Girl Ignores You, Is She Really into You
Pay attention to her body language
As human beings, we have a variety of ways of communicating things with each other, some of them we are aware of, but for the most part, our more subtle communication techniques can go unnoticed by others and even ourselves.
According to the Social Issues Research Centre, only 7% of what we wish to communicate has anything to do with what we actually say.
If you consider yourself to have a silver-tongue, then this might not be the best news for you; however, if you aren’t all too good with words, then you’ll be pleased to learn that 55% of our communication is related to our body language, while 38% is based on speaking signals; meaning it is not often what we say that communicates what we want, but rather how we say it.
Bearing this in mind, you can use a girl’s body language to decide whether or not she is into you, most of the time.
Take note of the position and posture of her body while the two of you are interacting. Is she inviting further interacting by facing you, or is she trying to block you off by facing away?
Is she trying to eye out other men, or is she relatively fixed on you? Is she open and expressive, or is her body language telling you that you are making her uncomfortable? Of course, with enough awareness and practice, it can be easy for a girl to try and fake these signals.
Whether she is playing hard to get by giving off mixed signals with her BL or is trying to lead you into a false sense of security, there are a few good reasons why body language alone is not enough to leave you certain.
Has she created barriers between the two of you?
When a woman is interested in a man, she will likely try to ensure that there are no obstacles standing between him and her.
Smartphones, purses, friends, tables and chairs all serve similar functions in this regard; that is to say to either drive a wedge between the two of you to create space that you cannot invade, or be cleared so as to create an open space for the two of you to interact freely in.
So take note of where she places these objects to determine whether she is into you or not. Women may subconsciously or purposefully use items to create or eliminate barriers between you two. But you should take context into account. If you are in a dodgy bar together and she is clutching her purse close to her, then don't take it too personally.
If, however, you are sat at a table together and she is glued to her phone, she might be trying to ensure that you cannot grab her attention, so why not move on to someone who isn't trying to avoid you?
What do her eyes say?
If one more person feels the need to tell you that the eyes are the window to the soul, you’ll likely want to take theirs out. But this trite and overly romantic notion does have some truth behind it, albeit it is a little fuzzy.
Both the subconscious and conscious movements of her eyes can tell you a great deal about where you stand with a girl, but they also depend on her ability to communicate with confidence.
If she is particularly shy, she might tend to avoid eye-contact even when she is interested in you, and she shouldn't be blamed for this.
The areas of our brain that manage attraction also manage our fight or flight reflex, making such encounters a little harrowing to some.
On the other hand, you might find her stealing a glance at you, or holding eye contact for between two and three seconds while the two of you are speaking; and unless you are in a business meeting, this is likely a good sign.
It can be tricky to spot, but if you are fortunate enough to witness her pupils dilate while the two of you are speaking, then you have just seen a sure-fire sign of attraction that cannot be faked or hidden, much like blushing.
Mimicry is a good sign
All human beings tend to emulate the speech and actions of those that they see value in. You may have noticed it amongst family members, work colleagues and friends.
We are so good at this in fact, that we start doing it from infancy, and you can thank behavioral psychology for figuring this one out.
So take note of the words she uses, her mannerisms, how she does (or does not) refer to your jokes and previous statements.
If she is clearly emulating you, she might not even be aware of it, and it is a great way to tell if she is interested in, or attracted to you.
Listen to how she speaks
Both men and women do something strange with their voices when they are speaking to someone they are attracted to, particularly when they are in a flirtatious situation; we tend to lower the pitch and volume of our voices without even realising it.
This could be because of an elevated heart rate or shortness of breath, or perhaps it is some other evolutionary trait that we are yet to be aware of; but whatever the reason, it happens almost all of the time.
She’s playing hard to get
Most people hate this reaction to being attracted to someone, but that's not going to stop it from happening, especially as far as an initial attraction is concerned.
But if she is so interested, then why does she ignore me?
It’s because she doesn't want to come across as needy, and also wants to do a little stress test to your interest.
If you are getting mixed signals, that is to say, she is trying to be aloof while displaying other signs of attraction, then she is likely just putting you to the test.
A cautionary note!
When you are on the lookout for signs of attraction, you are not looking for any single signal, but a series or pattern of them that can confirm her feelings for you.
A single smile, touching of the hair, or attempt to touch you might just signal a moment’s interest, or could just be a demonstration of her personality, and so striking at the rod at the first possible sign of attraction might just leave you with a broken line.
No, you need to see recurring patterns of multiple signs of interest to be sure. Some people are also just more open and friendly than others, making signs of attraction more difficult to spot in these people.
You also don't need to keep a mental checklist of signs of attraction and start losing heart when any one of them is nowhere to be found.
Different people will react in different ways. Because of this, it is much better to simply familiarize yourself with signs of attraction so that you are simply more aware of them when they occur.