Here’s the deal. All relationships in life are about power and you need to simply have the ability to call the shots.
If you are dating or thinking of getting into a relationship, you’ve got to understand that this power struggle can have only three possible scenarios:
- She has the power
Well if she has the power, consider yourself screwed. You will be watching her favorite movies for the millionth time and then going to her parent’s home.
Unfortunately, you don’t have any say of your own! Being submissive is the last thing you should be figuring out while discovering how to be in a relationship
- You both share the power
Sharing power with your partner isn’t a bad deal. In fact it’s all about give and take. You agree to watch her favorite movie and she agrees to let you invite your friends over.
- You have the power
Having an upper hand in a relationship is an ideal scenario for most men. You decide how, when and where you are going to spend your time together.
The good thing is that you are not expected to make any kinds of special concessions or commitments. By taking charge in a relationship, you will never expect to see yourself babysitting her sister’s kids or standing outside the changing room holding her girly bags.
Dominant or Submissive: The Do’s and Don’ts of “How to be in a Relationship”
Gaining Power can be Challenging and Builds Confidence
Now that you are getting closer to her, you need to figure out how you can take charge of the relationship. And for this to happen, make her feel as if she was the one who initiated the relationship, not you.
Yes, taking charge is one of the toughest lessons in “how to be in a relationship.” It is more like power politics. If you make her feel important, you can use this feeling to your advantage.
Remember that your girl should get the idea that she’s more into you than you are after her. This means you need to play your card carefully in the beginning.
Don’t spill your heart over how you are going gaga or how happy you are to receive her number. Don’t start calling her or sending text message the very moment she contacts you.
Interestingly acting too curious or overeager right at the start is not the right way of how to be in a relationship. Doing this sadly will place her in the dominating position.
Of course, you can be friendly and show some excitement, but try to control your emotions. Don’t be too excited every time she calls you – keep your emotions in check mate!
Check out these 10 Psychological tricks to make her, subconsciously, like you more:
Bedroom Power – Who’s on Top?
Is control in the bedroom related to power in a relationship? Well, interestingly this is true. Bedroom is one place where women traditionally have the upper hand, but they don’t always have to be the boss.
Yes, women often use sex as a card to get what they want. And if you want to turn the tables here and want to gain an upper hand in dating, you have to show a little restraint. Women like men who are more dominant in the bedroom.
But at the same time, they want the same strong man to be waiting and begging for sexual release.
You can be appreciative if she wants to take the relationship to a personal level, but again, don’t show that she’s doing you some kind of favor. Simply put, you have to be calm and cool and make her feel just the opposite.
Yes, you’ve guessed it right. To gain power, make her feel that she is the luckiest woman – someone that gets to have a relationship with you. And follow the old saying of how to be in a relationship – “always keep her wanting more!”
Interestingly, when men come across as being absolutely desperate, woman use it to their advantage and take charge in a relationship.
Don’t Change Yourself
She may be smokin’ hot, but you just cannot give up everything for her! And if you do, you are actually putting yourself in a big mess.
This how to be in a relationship advice sounds simple, but most men make the mistake of making women ‘the control center’ of their lives.
What’s worse is that some guys willing give women the upper hand and let them know that they’re in charge of their lives.
The best way to regain charge in a relationship is to give women a special place in your life, but not all of it. Don’t push everything you love to do on a side and give up your interests. Enjoy your hobbies and make sure you pursue your career goals.
If she knows that there’s a special place for her in your life, but you won’t allow her to do something that makes you uncomfortable, the power sides your way.
Winning the Dating Games – It’s easier than you think
It just takes a bit of smart thinking to win the dating game and gain the upper hand in a relationship. We have discussed what’s of ‘how to be in a relationship’ and the dating game. You also know how gaining the upper hand can affect the development of your relationships.
Remember, dating is only the start. Over time this power struggle will evolve into other ‘relationship games’ and you will have to learn how to master them to hold your ground.
Typical relationship games that you would come across include jealousy, tantrums and “only if you loved me” tricks. At some point, she might test you a little bit by visiting her close friends and see how you react.
As you can guess, you should show that you have enough confidence in her and remain cool.
Perhaps the most common trick she might try to gain control in a relationship is the tried and tested “if only you cared about me.” This indeed is a clever trick, but the actual trick is not to fall for it.
Remind her that if you didn’t love her, you won’t do anything that would make her uncomfortable. Yes, it’s pretty okay to sound a little selfish but make sure you understand her tactics and use them against her.
Not to forget, you should always keep your cool and never let the arguments get to your head.
Look Closely at why an Argument May Begin
Arguments can happen anywhere and they can make or break your relationship.
Humans are social creatures and arguments erupt when you come across another person’s perspective with which you disagree.
You may try your level best to be respectful and acknowledge the other person’s views, but it can be slightly difficult to keep things neutral.
Arguing between couples becomes a serious problem when it turns into a major blowout. How can you prevent arguments from blowing up into something horrific?
- Take a deep breath – don’t let her get on your nerves
f you want to be seen as the stronger partner, you should never let her get on your nerves. What is your immediate response when she says something you don’t agree with?
Of course, you force yourself to come up with a response immediately without even collecting your thoughts. If your partner attacked you personally, you wouldn’t miss a chance to hit back.
What’s worse is that some people shout insults and don’t even realize what they are saying.
Remember that raising your voice or shouting back isn’t the best approach. In fact, taking a deep breath and collecting your thoughts can help you respond in a better way.
- Never respond emotionally if you want to be seen as a strong person
Listening to the other person doesn’t mean you agree with everything they say.
You will be surprised to know that most arguments escalate because our emotions take over our critical thinking in the heat of the moment. In factyour emotions actually heat up the argument instead of de-escalating it.
No matter how bad you feel, try your best not to bring in your emotions into the argument.
Think clearly, focus on the real issue and see how you can work towards a solution.
- Every argument does not have the same importance – your time is immensely valuable
Like every other thing in life, not all arguments are equal. Whether you eat at home or dine out is a small decision and has little consequences.
In fact, it is one argument you shouldn’t be having in the first place. The next time you are arguing, think whether or not you should really invest your energy into it.
Check out this interesting video to know more about the stupid things couple fight about:
When you talk about being in a relationship, the driver’s seat is the only place to be.
Here’s hoping that the ideas mentioned earlier help you grab control of the situation from the get-go.
Do you have something to add to the story? Let us know in the comments.