How to Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back with these 4 Steps!

Most of you will agree that when it comes to getting your Ex Girlfriend back there are a lot of Do’s and Dont’s if you want to be successful.

As men, we may not always do or say the correct things even if we have the best intentions. So, here are some clever ways average guys can do to have a second chance with their ex.

Follow these 4 Self Motivating steps, and your Ex will realize that she made a mistake letting you go, and will be ready and willing to give you the second chance you deserve!

how to get your ex girlfriend back

How to Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back​

Do not become the ‘Crazy Ex’

Look, We all know someone somewhere that had an experience either with a crazy ex or unfortunately being the crazy ex.

Those ‘I Hate You’ text messages, late night drunk phone calls saying how much they miss the person or the incredibly annoying public social media posts for the world to see.

If you and your lady have broken up then rule number one is to avoid social media posts because you will just embarrass yourself. This study from Psych Central discusses how social media plays a big role in impacting a relationship: Social Media’s Relationship Impact.

The first mistake a lot of people make when they get into a break up is unfriending their ex on social media. This is something you should avoid if you are hoping to get them back. If you resorted to taking your emotions on social media, crying selfies, thoughtless blabbers, and other stupid things, you’re just embarrassing yourself by being immature.

Coming back from that scenario is a very big uphill climb. Leaving them connected to your social media shows that there could still be an aspect of friendship left, and this is the first step in trying to win her back. Do not go and spam her page with ‘likes’ and ‘re-tweets’. Just let her be for a while and give her time to breathe.

Avoid heartbreak statuses (Breakup song Lyrics, over dramatized ‘How can I Move on’ posts) because that shows her (and everyone else) that you want your personal life out there for everyone to see, and she probably does not. Keep it private, take away the ‘In relationship’ status, and move on.

Break-ups are hard and there’s no way around it but just going thru the whole ordeal.

Maturity about the break up will instantly get her attention, and this is because women like to be in control, but if she sees that you are acting calm and cool about the break up then she will begin to think ‘well what is he going to do now?’ This is exactly where you want her mindset to be.

Focus on YOURSELF because You are All You Got

We both know she broke up with you for a reason, and you must understand and own this reason and immediately get to work on changing it.

She could have thought you were lazy and had no personal drive, or you were not romantic enough and you guys always stayed in and watched the game on TV.

Whatever it may be you must own it and figure out ways to change it.

A very common and effective way for guys to get their self-confidence and motivation back involves hitting the gym.

After a break up you may feel tired and weak, and if that is the case the first purchase you should make is not a tub of lube for your bedside but a gym membership.

Taking care of yourself and improving the way you look and feel will get her to see that you are trying to change the negative image she has of you. You want to make yourself better, so go out and buy new clothes.

Sure that may sound like a female thing to do, but it also shows her that you are willing to change your image, and that is something she will take notice of.

Another major way to get her attention will be to go out with the guys and have fun. Don’t stay in your room crying over her.

Go out and have some laughs with the guys. You know that her girlfriends will be getting her dolled up to hit the town, so why shouldn’t you go out and have a good time?

Keeping friends around will keep you from over thinking about her, and keep your head in a positive space.

Acknowledge Her and She’ll Gradually Return the Favor

The world is a small place, and that means from time-to-time you will be in the same vicinity as your ex at some point. And when (not if) this happens it will probably be your most crucial step in getting your Ex Girlfriend back.

If you run away, ignore her, or make rude comments while out then you have just justified why she left you. Instead what you should do is make eye contact and acknowledge her.

If she doesn’t seem defensive or hostile (she isn’t giving you the middle finger) then go up and say hi to her and her friends. Show confidence in yourself!

When you inevitably see her out make sure the conversation is short and sweet. Start with ‘Hey, how is it going? Its great to see you. I am doing well thanks.

Well, I won’t keep you; I just wanted to say Hi. Have a great evening’. This establishes that ‘first connection’ into the new relationship, because to her it is a new relationship she is looking for.

If you are at the same bar as her, for example, refrain from staring all the time because you will look like a desperate creep and we don’t want that.

Hangout with the people you went out with, and go on with your night. If she was smiling throughout your brief conversation then the next day shoot her a short text message saying ‘Hey, it was great to see you last night, and I am glad you are doing well. Hope to see you again”.

What this does is put the ball in her hands, as you have left an open invitation for her to take.

Entering the Brand New Relationship

You can bet that if you have worked on steps 1-3 that she has noticed. If your Ex has any feelings left for you then she will recognize the effort you have put in to get her back.

This is where the previous open invite you sent comes into play. She will accept because you have intrigued her with the maturity you have shown in handling the breakup, and she now has become curious. If she replies with a ‘Hey, great to see you, and yea for sure I would like that’, well then my friend you are in!

You must keep that championship mentality because you just got to the Finals of the Playoffs, and any mistake you make from here could end your run at the trophy.

Check out this video on breaking the cycle of bad relationships:​

You have asked her out for a Coffee/Drink, and this is where you must really show her you have changed.

Your Ex will be on the defensive, and you must show her that you are as well, because women feel that even though things aren't right the first time there was still that initial connection which brought the two of you together, and that spark might not be gone.

Set a time and date, and you better not be a second late!

Talk about what she has been up to, and she will in return ask you. Tell her you really have been focusing on bettering yourself, and that you have her to thank for it.

She will realize that you understand the mistakes you have made, and you making all efforts to mature and change are because you are not over her. Get her laughing, as that will help her to lower her defensive mentality.

Show genuine interest in what she has been up to, and applaud her for any accomplishments she has achieved. At the end of your Coffee date make sure you let her know how great it was to see her and ask if she would be up for you taking her out to dinner sometime. And because you followed the previous steps you should expect that answer to be a ‘Yes’.


Remember, it is a new relationship, so do not rush anything aspect of it. Treat it as a first date, second date, and so on.

Get to know her again, and allow her to get to know the new and improved you. And remember, she will be on the defensive for a while, challenging you to see if you slip and fall back to the old ways which she left you for.

Keep yourself focused and follow these previous steps, and my friend you will succeed at getting your Ex Girlfriend back.

Terrence Kennedy

Written by Terrence Kennedy

Terrence Kennedy is the man’s man on a journey to self-discovery. A traveler, extreme sports aficionado, an observant wanderer, a DIY-Know-How, an ultimate outsider and a documentarist of culture, sex, dating, relationship, fashion, style and gentleman's etiquette. He has learned a lot through his escapades, and is happy to pass that knowledge on to you.

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