A Woman’s Sexual Arousal Map: Detailed Journey on How to Pleasure a Woman

Most people would agree that knowing how to pleasure a woman makes sex all that more engaging, intimate and wild. It’s a simple matter of giving what you get.

Turn her on and satisfy her, and she will be more involved, more open and more likely to give you sex that matches the way she feels; which is hopefully hot and out of control.

Unfortunately, many men, particularly those that believe they know how to pleasure any woman based on past escapades, believe that there is a sure-fire way to do this, completely negating the fact that each and every woman is different, has different sexual triggers, and most importantly have their own unique list of turnoffs.​

Knowing how to make use of these (or to avoid them), is your first step towards knowing how to please any woman in bed, providing of course, you got off on the right foot to begin with.

how to pleasure a woman

"Knowing how to pleasure a woman makes sex all that more engaging, intimate and wild..."

So, to help you along, here is what can be called a map of a woman’s hot zones, those areas of both her body and her mind that will turn up the heat if you pay attention to them.

Are you ready to understand her sexuality?

​A Detailed Journey on How to Pleasure a Woman Properly

Location one: Her mind is your gateway to better sex

There is a fundamental difference between most men and women and it concerns their mental presence and state during sex (according to American Psychological Association). 

With guys, it’s easy. Tell us that you’re ready to go and ‘boom’, we’re turned on. Which is probably why so many men completely neglect a woman’s mental state when it comes to sex.

Check out this video for some techniques on how to pleasure a woman staring in the mind:​

Most women need to be mentally prepared and stimulated in order to be properly aroused and present during sex or she won’t have her heart in it, and is less likely to achieve climax. Simple thoughts like ‘I need to buy some milk’, will constantly distract her.

Unless you’ve put in the appropriate work into mental stimulation before sex.

That is why I term this ‘location one’, it is your point of entry when trying to get her aroused, but your approach should differ depending on what type of woman she is.

She may need to feel safe in knowing that she is not just another notch, so make her feel important. Compliment her on her non-physical attributes like her bubbly personality or wit.

Introduce her to your circle of friends in a friendly and inclusive way. This will dispel any doubts she may have about being the flavor of the week; and the process of arousal will begin.

Some women on the other hand, need a challenge: playful banter, being hard to get and involving yourself in in-depth and interesting conversations about things she is into is a good way to start. It will draw her out, prove your worth and spark within her the beginnings of desire which will keep her intrigued and aroused.

Location two: Unspoken hot-spots she wants you to know about

how to pleasure a woman

She seems to be getting into it, but make no mistake, there are still plenty of caltrops you could fall into if you are not careful, and blow it altogether.

The worst of these, is perhaps rushing it and going directly for the um… juicy bits. For any woman with even an inch of self-confidence, this could be a deal breaker, so be sure to take your time.

Explore her body, rub down her feet, caress the back of her thighs, her navel and her neck. All of these areas are incredibly sensitive to, and are great trigger points for stimulation.

Part of the idea here is to engage into light teasing, while the other half is about showing her that you are not strictly interested in shagging.

Light teasing will heighten the tension, making stimulation and sex all the more powerful and intense; while skipping, these zones will likely leave her feeling unsatisfied, and maybe even a little shameful.​

Location three: The obvious places, start enjoying yourself a little

Okay, you’ve been patient enough for now, and by this point she is gagging for it. But we’re not quite ready to take the trip downstairs just yet.

Location three concerns those curves and areas directly related to sexual pleasure, without going all the way there just yet.

Her breasts need caressing, her nipples need a little more teasing, and while you’re at it, use your body to make contact with hers. You are still teasing, but you are circling a little closer to the prize.

Move your fingers down her navel, and slowly begin exploring her hot-spots such as her pubic mound and inner thighs, get your mouth involved, kiss and lick the sensitive areas of her body, and take note of her reactions.

Pay attention to those areas which get the best reactions, and steer clear of ones that make her seem uncomfortable.

Remember, it is never too late to accidentally turn her off.​

Signs that you’re on the right path: Almost time to hone in

Before we move on to the climax, you should observe changes in her body to gauge just how turned on she really is.

Men and women both have a tendency to fake pleasure for the benefit of their partners, so her controlled cues are not always reliable. By these I mean moans, twitches, arching her back and the like. While it may be genuine, there is always the chance that it is not.

It is fairly easy to spot a guy when he is turned on, women are another matter. But there are a few biological cues that can tell you.​

So, here’s how you can check:

  • Stimulation around her nipples have caused them to perk up and harden. Her nipples are extremely sensitive, and are a pretty good way to tell if she is getting into it.
  • When she starts to become seriously aroused, blood-flow to her labia will cause it to change color to a darker purple.
  • You know she is close to coming when her clitoris pulls back into her body, almost like a twitch. This means the pressure is mounting, and you’ve done a damn fine job.

So, it’s time to take it home.

Location four: The clitoris

Ah the glorious clitoris. It is almost fabled in men’s understanding of it, but there really isn’t much to understand.

It’s quite simple really:

The clitoris, located at the top most part of her vagina (just where the lips meet) is where all the magic happens. It is made from the same sensitive, nerve-filled skin as that on the head of your penis. Knowing that, you should now understand the importance of it when bringing her to climax.

Find it, work it in small, gentle circles, and watch in delight as it lights her fire.

With some women, it might be tucked in behind the skin of her vagina and will need exposing, so following her labia up towards where the lips meet, is a good way of locating it (especially in the dark).

Stimulating it with your tongue and fingers, and also during sex is sure to do the job. If you are on top, try putting a pillow below her lower back as to force pressure on her clit during your movements. Doggy style and her on top are also great ways to ensure that it is stimulated properly.

Now, armed with your map of sexuality, go forth and make her moan. But remember that each woman is different, and so experimentation and even communication might be in order to give her exactly what she wants.

Don’t assume to already know, your pride will be her disappointment.

Terrence Kennedy

Written by Terrence Kennedy

Terrence Kennedy is the man’s man on a journey to self-discovery. A traveler, extreme sports aficionado, an observant wanderer, a DIY-Know-How, an ultimate outsider and a documentarist of culture, sex, dating, relationship, fashion, style and gentleman's etiquette. He has learned a lot through his escapades, and is happy to pass that knowledge on to you.

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