Terrence Kennedy
It's no secret that the art of seduction has been a long practiced and refined endeavor for both men and women looking to explore (and exploit) their sexual power since the dawn of man.
Perhaps there is a bit of this skill set in each of us, and I’m sure you would agree that being able to tap into that power would be advantageous, both in the bedroom and the social spears of life. Well doing so isn’t too difficult.
It basically describes the ability to create within someone else a sense of sexual interest, without them really even realizing it.
So before you start drafting letters of hate mail telling me just how underhanded it sounds, consider for a moment how often people do it, whether they realize it or not.
What I’m talking about here, is simply a means of being more attractive by being aware of your own behavior.
The truth is that we live in a society where we need to be careful of how forward we are, especially when it comes to sex.
"You just need an understanding of what the art of attraction entails."
The consequences of putting yourself out there can be socially dire, and so more often than not, the first step of knowing how to turn a woman on, is knowing when and how to be subtle about it.
This is obviously not an easy thing to do, and there is a very fine line between being creepy and mysteriously alluring. So to help set you on the right path here is a bit of advice on how you can take advantage of your personal art of seduction.
How to Turn a Girl On: Stealth Mode
Make it less obvious: They want you after all
So you’ve got your eye on someone, and you want them bad, but be careful not to let her know that her spell has worked on you.
Ask any woman out there what they think about needy men and the answer will invariably be the same. It puts them off, just as a needy woman would do the same to you.
Avoid seeming desperate, wanting or needy at all costs. You’ve noticed her and that’s enough. The trick here is not to convince her that you need her, but rather the other way around. Be unaffected by her company, resist her allure, and you’re already halfway there.
Chase after her like a lapdog however, and you’ll likely never see her again.
Be comfortable in your own skin: Confidence is a winner
Women love confident men (or at least those who can pull off pretending to be), and make no mistake they are experts at sniffing out those who are not.
Your body language has a lot to say about how you feel around her, and if you are shuffling, closing yourself off or fidgety, she’ll know immediately that she might be the cause of your discomfort, blowing your cover wide open.
Embrace your inner child: Show her that you’re playful
While many people will tell you there is value in being the strong silent type, it isn’t always the most attractive feature.
It might make you seem a little too boring, and certainly far too similar to every other guy who has tried proving his success to her. But you are not trying to do that, you’re just having some fun.
Be playful. Bring a certain energy into the room that shows how fun you can be. By doing this, you are also drawing the right kind of attention to yourself without directly stating who that energy is meant for.
This will also make you more approachable should the need in her arise.
Keep the string out of reach: Everyone wants what they can't have
Take a piece of string and dangle it just out of a cat’s reach and you will keep it interested in you for hours. Lower that string so that the cat can reach it however, and it will likely sniff at it and walk away. While we are not cats, the same applies to human beings.
Watch this:
Make an effort to not be available at all times, whether it be for immediate conversation or for a phone-call at a later stage.
One of the best ways to keep her intrigued without even knowing it, is to make sure you are always just out of reach… at least until she swallows the hook.
Communicate through body language
As I said earlier, women tend to have a keener eye for body language than men do, so what could be more subtle than communicating with them through it. The basics of body language works like this.
Every moment, whether in front of her or in her peripherals, your posture, position and movements all communicate something to her. She may unconsciously assume that you are not aware of your own body language (as many of us aren’t) making the messages you send through these channels all the more effective.
Bold postures exhume confidence, the positioning of your feet and hands, as well as the direction you face, might also lead her to assume that you are unconsciously interested in her.
Check this out:
So long as you keep it subtle, and pull it off naturally (which counterintuitively takes a little practice), your body will say so much more to her than your words ever could; and although she will take it in unconsciously, would likely be completely unaware of it.
As that unfolds in her mind, she will come to think it is her who is interested in her, and not the other way around.
Maintain the Mystery to keep her interested
While opening up to someone (when you know them well enough) is a great way to build a connection, it’s not great for the very beginning.
Firstly, you might come on a little strong if you do it, but even if you manage to not scare her off with that, you are putting yourself at a major disadvantage.
Everybody loves a good mystery, and the most attractive guys are always full of it.
I’ll put this in a way that it ties in with the cat-string theory above:
- Give her just a little information about yourself (and there is never a reason to lie), dodge the odd question or answer it vaguely. If she’s on a mission to get to know you, keep her on the hunt. That does not mean you should clam up, however. It’s all about giving out a morsel here and there.
Patience is key
Knowing how to turn a woman on is just the first step, but nothing gives you away more clearly than wanting something now. Act as cautiously as you expect she is being, or simply be naturally nonchalant.
Besides giving you away, impatience is never a favorable trait in people (although we all suffer it from time to time), and so it stands to reason that you don’t want to let it show. But remember to be patient with yourself and your goal as well. Even if it seems like you’re getting nowhere, keep trying and continue to play it cool.
Good things come to those who wait.
Don’t be direct
This one works on two levels, so let me start with my most literal meaning.
If you want to catch her eye, don’t stand right in front of it, and certainly, don’t hang around on the other side of the bar trying your best to act natural.
Locate yourself within her peripherals, it’s a good way to get someone interested in you, and here is why:
- You can’t see what the person there looks like, not properly anyway.
- Now you have to look at them or the intrigue will bother you.
- You can’t just turn and look at them, and so the intrigue grows.
Take note of this, whenever someone is in the corner of your eye, once you notice them, you are more likely to take an interest.
On the other level, I mean simply don’t be direct. Don’t walk up to her and ask if she wants to have sex, even a simple ‘hello’ might be too much.
By doing that you are killing the chase. Hang around and let your body language do the talking for as long as you can. But make sure you’re ready to strike up a conversation when she becomes approachable.