Terrence Kennedy
Sex is a crucial part of life, relationships and everything, surely you would agree:
In my younger years (which didn't seem all that long ago), I took pride in my unstoppable virility. Sex was something that happened as often as five times a week, often still leaving me unsatisfied; and while I loved it, it did get me into trouble on more than one occasion.
But as I got older, had all the sex I could hope for, dabbled in too much porn and secluded myself from the world of love and relationships, I didn't take the time to notice my gradual decline in sexual wanting, until one day I realized I hadn’t had sex in over a year.
This never seemed to trouble me at first (possibly I hadn't even realized it), but after a distinct lack of feminine energy in my home and a string of failed, unsatisfactory relationships, I’ve had to sit down and wonder why exactly my low sex drive was getting in the way of my relationships.
If you have found yourself in a similar position, perhaps getting constant ear-full from your girlfriend or wife about needs which aren't being met, then let's take a journey together to try and find out why you have no sex drive, and figure out ways to solve the problem.
But first, let's find out more about low sex drives:
How to Stop Low Sex Drive from Destroying Your Relationship
"Sex is a crucial part of life, relationships and everything..."
Do you have a low sex drive?
There is a difference between erectile dysfunction and a low sex drive. Erectile dysfunction describes a man’s inability to be aroused, and the problem is generally fairly simple to fix with a little medication. Products such as Viagra are excellent for restoring wood, but won’t bring your sex drive back.
A low sex drive may have nothing at all to do with your erection, in fact, with a low sex drive you would likely still be able to get it up and go through the motions before begrudgingly rolling over and going to sleep. But the task will likely seem like a laborious one, and you won't be able to apply yourself with the passion required to meet your partner’s needs.
What are the causes of a low sex drive, and how can you solve it?
There are a number of physical and psychological reasons why your drive is at an all-time low. Some of them are simple enough to solve with some schedule and dietary tweaks, while others require more dedicated measures:
* Your medication doesn't agree with you
We live in the century of medication. There is a pill out there for just about any problem, from gout and headaches to brighter skin, contraception and and sunnier days; it's a surprise we don't have tablets to help you swallow pills by now.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not knocking the effectiveness of contemporary pharmaceuticals, but a side effect of a great deal of medication out there has to do with your libido.
If you’ve recently started a course of medication and have since found that your desire for sex has taken a dive, you should consider speaking to your physician about the possible connection to see if there are any alternatives.
If you are on a course of anti-anxiety or depression pills, you might have to wait a while for your body’s hormones to level out before your sex-drive returns to normal again.
* Depression and anxiety is killing the mood
During any given year, some 15 million adults in the US suffer with depression disorder while around 3.3 million people suffer from unnaturally high levels of anxiety; a case which seems to be present the world over with only slight variations in degree.
But for many of the people suffering from this, they themselves are actually unaware.
Anxiety and depression are encompassing disorders; they fill your mind’s space with clutter that disallows room and energy for life’s more enjoyable activities such as sex, intimacy, and connection.
In severe cases, depression and anxiety can actually cause an aversion to intimacy since they tend to cause their sufferer to build boundaries which even block out those who are closest to them.
Besides that, the general lethargy and exhaustion suffered as a result of these disorders make getting into the mood all but impossible.
Since depression and anxiety are not always immediately noticeable conditions, they might be affecting your sex life without you even realising it.
If you suspect this might be the cause of your low libido, I recommend seeing a physician or psychiatrist as soon as you can will yourself to do so.
There is no shame in dealing with depression with the help of a professional.
* You are physically run-down or ill
Your state of physical health is the cornerstone of a happy life, and when it starts to slip, so too will many of the other areas of your life; and your sex drive is no exception.
If you are suffering from a low sex drive, make sure that you are getting regular sleep, plenty of exercise and all of the nutrients that your body needs to ensure that your hormones are correctly balanced.
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Some more serious and chronic illnesses such as diabetes may also have a negative effect on their sufferer’s sex drive, but can often be eased with assistance from a physician.
Alcohol and drugs might help put you in a carefree party mood that enables you to comfortably explore your sexuality, but in the long run will also have a negative effect on your libido as they lower your sperm count and mess with the confidence and energy you need to initiate sex, so stay clear of these too if you need to raise your sex drive.
* Your opinion of sex has been warped by porn
I enjoy porn as much as the next man, and living in the digital information age I have been more than grateful on a number of occasions to have easy access to just about any type of adult education I could think of.
So you could imagine my disappointment when I began to realize that your average woman doesn't look, sound or act like a porn star in the bedroom.
I could probably thank porn for my disinterest in ‘normal’ sex, oral is more fun with two women, anal should be a given, and the missionary position has become so passe.
But that is not the only problem associated with porn. Recent studies have shown that regular viewing of such material can have a negative influence on your dopamine levels, which, much like marijuana, results in lethargy, mild depression, and a fractured sex drive.
Conclusion
So if you have been finding that your lack of lust has started causing problems with intimacy in your relationship, take solace in knowing that there are a few things that can be done about it.
Be more mindful of your mental and physical health, take a look at your schedule, take better care of yourself and seek help where it is needed. There is no reason to let an inactive libido become a problem for you and your spouse.