Terrence Kennedy
Have you ever found yourself getting on fantastically with a girl at a party, but wondering whether or not her reactions to your sterling rhetoric and unflinching charm are simply her way of being friendly?
Have you sealed the deal? Is she leading you on? Is she just being polite? We have all been there at one point or another. For many men, it can be particularly difficult to determine whether or not a woman has taken an interest in you.
It can be all too easy to be put off by getting mixed signals from a girl, but remember the dating game is filled with nuances and slights of hand which for some reason, men are expected to be attuned to.
But most of us are not:
The bottom line is that a lot of women are just plain difficult to read, and worse still, most men are terrible at reading women; and so, the mixed signal hypothesis is often just a mistranslation of a man not being able to pick up on signs that she is interested.
But understanding a woman’s signals doesn’t require a rocket scientist or even a social guru. One simply needs to be aware of some of the unspoken tells that most women will display (often unknowingly) when she begins to find you attractive.
So, to help you know exactly where you stand when embroiled in the flirting game, here are a few ways that you can tell if she is into you.
Mixed Signals from a Girl: Pinpointing the Signals
Look for these three signs and you can be sure of what she’s thinking
A woman who is interested in you will give off all kinds of signals, depending of course on her approach to flirting.
Where this can get convoluted, is when she mixes her desire to show you that she is interested with the fear of coming across as desperate or needy.
So while she is giving you the eye, she might be moving away from a kiss or pretending not to notice you; and it is this kind of behavior which can make it difficult to tell if you are being led towards her bedroom or simply being lead on.
A good rule for life (as far as looking for qualifying signs goes), is that a single piece of evidence in any situation is simply not enough to confirm something; and this is no different when trying to find out whether a woman is into you or not.
Many proclaimed experts on dating believe that it takes at least three signs of interest to be sure:
That is not to say that there are three specific types, just that in order to be sure you need three instances (in a single meeting) that can confirm that she wants you.
So, take note of her behavior throughout your conversation/dinner/drink/party. Once you have noticed three obvious signs that she is turned on by you, it is probably safe to make your next move.
Note her body language to gauge her interest
According to Public Words, over 55% of all of our communication consists of body language, but what does that mean for you? As it is with all humans, a woman’s body language can tell you a lot about how she is feeling, whether she is aware of it or not.
Openly facing you with her torso is often a good sign that she feels confident around you and is engaged and interested.
Of course, a lot of women are shy, especially when they have an interest in the man they are talking to, and so are likely to cross their arms and shrink back a bit.
Take care though, this could also mean that she is purposefully creating a barrier between the two of you because she is simply not interested.
Is she sitting with her legs crossed? A lot of the time this can be taken as a sign that she wants you to step back, but not always.
The proof in this situation would lie in her feet. Take note of which direction they are facing, if they are pointed at you, she is either knowingly or unknowingly giving off signals of interest.
A woman who is playing with her hair during a conversation is very often interested in whoever she is talking to, and this is more often than not a good sign.
Of course, most women are fully aware of this behavioral trait, often pointing it out in one another, which can make it difficult to tell if she is being authentic by doing this.
A girl who seeks to get something out of you by leading you on will be starkly aware of how twirling her hair with her finger can easily have you wrapped around it, so this one is better used to qualify her interest if you have already been given other signs.
If she is trying to make contact, you’re doing well
Both men and women tend to find ways of making contact with whoever they are interested in (of course they are usually quite a bit subtler about it than we are).
Is she randomly handing out hugs to you, trying to touch your hand or insisting on moving closer towards you? You might be well on your way then.
A good interpret mixed signals from a girl is to test and see how she reacts when you hand her something like a lighter or a drink. If she is interested, there is a good chance she will try and make slight physical contact during the brief exchange.
If she is mirroring your moves she is keeping an eye on you
We all tend to imitate the movements (and even the speech) of those that we have a desire for. Does she pick up her drink at the same time as you, stretch when you do, laugh when you laugh?
This sort of imitation is usually a sure-fire way of showing someone that you admire them (or are at least keeping a hopeful eye out).
A lot of the time, people are not even aware when they are doing it (and more often still, the gesture goes unnoticed by men who are looking for obvious cues).
Pay attention to her mannerisms and movements to see if they mirror yours. If they do so in a consistent way, it is a strong sign that she is interested.
Her eyes may reveal a great deal
They say that eyes are the window to the soul. I don’t know how true that is, but they are certainly a reliable way to tell if she has taken an interest in you or not.
There are a few ways that she could be sending you messages with her eyes, and not all of them can be helped: For instance, it is commonly known that when people see things (or in this case, other people), that they desire, their pupils tend to dilate.
Of course, it can be difficult (and possibly even creepy) to try and keep tabs on her eyes’ dilations; especially if the lighting is bad or she is wearing contacts.
Does she hold your gaze and go silent? This could be a good sign too (except when engaged in an intense conversation).
Alternatively, she might be really shy and so looks away when eye contact is made; which is more often than not a sign that you are stirring something guilty deep inside of her.
Conclusion
There are plenty of other signs that she may be interested in you, and they may very well change from woman to woman. These ones, however, are those that seem to be common amongst most women and are also the easiest ones to spot. But remember what I said about looking for three distinct and separate signs, it is only with plenty of evidence that you can comfortably say she is into you.