The Not-So-Good-Looking Guy’s Guide on How to Attract Women

Have you been blaming your lack of luck with women on your looks?

Knowing how to attract women seems to come naturally to a lot of men, but most of all to those that are fairly confident in what they have to offer, especially as far as appearance goes.

But for those like me with a face that resembles putty mushed over a copper vase, strewn with duck-down stubble and more oily patches than the Atlantic, it can be a little more difficult to have the confidence to attract a girl who is not equally, or indeed more insecure than ourselves.

The thing is, and people are rarely told this, that attracting women to your side is not strictly about looking like a photoshopped version of yourself, but rather about what tends to come naturally to good-looking people; and that favourable trait which most women seem to seek, is confidence.

I know, being comfortable in your own skin is not that easy when you don’t feel like it fits you properly; but how many times have you seen what can only be described as the church bell ringer of Notre-Dame walking around with an incredibly beautiful girlfriend and wondered how he managed that?

Is he rich, extremely charismatic or an expert hypnotist? Well, the possibility is always there, but when you boil down what it really is that he may get from those advantages is confidence.

So, if you are lacking in self-esteem, how is it exactly that you can use it to your advantage? Well, this is a guide on exactly how to attract women by leveraging your confidence by finding your own unique strengths.​

How to Attract Women for the Not-So-Attractive Guys​

Stop thinking about your looks when focusing on your actual strengths is better

It can be all too easy to fall into the trap of assuming that what women really want, is an absolute stud. Given enough time, every attractive man on this planet will eventually wither into old-age, and at that point, all the good looks of youth will count for nothing.

Women tend to have a keener awareness of this fact than you might be aware of, and so when a man’s looks start to fade, if he has not worked on other parts of his personality, he will likely find himself having very little to offer.

Check out this interesting survey about “Looks and Personality” by The Red Couch:​

This is where your head-start comes into play? You’ve always had to work a little harder, producing something authentic to offer women when it comes to attracting them; so take solace and find confidence in that.

​Focus on what you really have to offer; I mean what is truly meaningful:

Are you driven, hard-working, compassionate, successful, creative, kind, chivalrous, or indeed any other combination of traits that are often lacking in men who are considered physically attractive? Well use those traits to your advantage.

If you sit down (and are actually nice to yourself about it), you could probably think of a million good reasons why a woman should prefer you over those other guys.

On the other hand, if you try too hard to match the physical appearance of those more attractive guys, you will likely end up making it obvious that you know you are not exactly hot-shit. Rather bring out your natural flair and charm by not conforming to the need to be photoshopped.​

If you can’t make it, faking it will get you there

Perhaps this paragraph should start with a disclaimer. You are not faking it for the benefit of the women around you which you are hoping to attract; you are doing it for the benefit of yourself.

One of the worst things about having a low self-esteem (common in unattractive men) is that it tends to keep you locked in discomfort that you can never seem to break away from.

Faking confidence may seem a little odd (and even underhanded) at first, but it will essentially help lift your opinion of yourself.

But you have to remember that no one else knows what is going on in your head, they don’t know which fears and demons you struggle with on the daily, and so will only know that you lack confidence if you show it.

​A 2012 study in the Journal of Psychological Science took 169 students and forced them to hold certain facial expressions (fake smiles, genuine ones, anger, etc.) and found that in each and every case, students who had held an expression for over 2 minutes reported convincing themselves of holding those emotions for a time after.

Similar studies into body language, faking romantic interests and even believing one’s own lies after repeating them, have all had similar results.

So, lengthen your back, square your shoulders and take the world in your stride even when it scares the crap out of you. The kind of confidence that this will exhume is one of the most attractive things that a woman can think of.​

Be a gentleman, they are pretty much like unicorns

While the concept of what constitutes as chivalrous behaviour might change overtime, there are far too many women out there that truly believe that chivalry is dead. This is partly due to the fact that all of those great looking chaps out there don’t feel the need to try and be a nice person; that should be your cue to be that long extinct knight in shining armour that every girl dreams of.

There is a trick to this though, you shouldn’t only be a gentleman to the women you want to find in your bed, but to everyone.

Women have a tendency to judge men on how they treat others. A massive ass-hole will likely only shack up with mean-girlsor broken ones (which in all honesty are far more work than they are worth), while the nice guys which supposedly finish last, more often than not find a woman they deserve; because there is a great deal of value in simply being a nice person.

Grow a personality and your looks won’t matter

Too many unattractive guys feel like their chances with women are directly related to their looks, but fortunately for them, so do most attractive men.