Men go to great lengths to learn how to be more attractive to women. They say things to make them sound smarter, go to the gym to make themselves look better, buy pricey gifts, and wear a fancy suit to seem more important.
A lot of the things guys do to attract women help, but some are pointless. In fact, a lot of what men do to become more attractive may actually have the opposite effect. When looking to improve your dating life, you need to take the time to evaluate beforehand which areas will improve your life.
What She’s Thinking Before You Even Say Hello
Your parents probably told you not to ‘judge a book by its cover’, but we all do it anyway—it’s human nature. Humans are hardwired to judge people based on external characteristics to determine if they’re friend or foe, a potential mate, or someone who’s not relevant.
When men spot women we are only looking for a few things, and they’re all physical: Physical figure, hair, skin, facial shape etc.
Women do this to, however, they’re not as visual oriented as men are. Here are the things women look for before you even open your mouth:
Grooming and Style
There are a number of factors that play a role in how physically attractive women find you: Smile, facial structure, fat, muscle etc. but one of the biggest factors in your appearance is presentation (i.e. style and grooming).
When it comes to attracting women, women don’t just jump into bed with a guy because he’s presenting himself well. However, they will immediately rule out sleeping with a guy if he’s not.
Looking good is the best way to get your foot in the door in your conversations with women. And because grooming and style are entirely within your control, there is absolutely no reason that a man should not be as well-groomed and dressed as he possibly can. You’re responsible for: Showering, shaving, oral hygiene, nose hairs, fingernails when it comes to grooming, and the clothes on your back (unless your mom dresses you) when it comes to style. There’s no reason that those things should not be taken care of.
The one factor that often inhibits men from proper grooming is because it is often seen as ‘not-manly’. This sentiment is actually on point: Grooming isn’t inherently masculine. However, you have to look at the end goal: If you’re purpose for grooming is to be more attractive to women, then how is that not masculine?
Here are some thoughts on how to look, feel and smell your best every day:
Oral Hygiene: Make sure to get a quality, electronic toothbrush that will really clean your teeth; floss every day; use mouthwash; look into whitening your teeth.
It’s also important to make sure your pearly whites are actually white. This vide is a helpful guide on doing just that:
Smell: Shower daily, cleaning the ‘hot spots’ (Armpits, groin etc.); use a quality deodorant; get a nice bottle of cologne (Avoid spraying to too much). For more info on cologne check out this article: Best Colognes For Men
Facial Hair: A little stubble is not a bad thing. In fact, a A/B test study conducted women’s attraction to men with and without beards and found that bearded men were more attractive . Just don’t let your facial hair grow out of control.
Hair: When it comes to getting our hair cut, skip the $10 chain barber shop. Find a quality stylist and invest a little money into it. On top of that use a wax or gel to keep your hair style throughout the day.
Here’s what you can expect from a quality haircut:
Style: Start by adding a few ‘staples’ to your wardrobe such as dark jeans or a blazer. From there build outfits of these items. And don’t forget about shoes! Here’s a great video on men’s style:
Physique: One of the biggest factors in creating attraction with women right off the bat is your physique. On top of that, having a good body boosts your confidence.
If you’re overweight, you need to get ripped, fast! This Warrior Shredding Program is phenomenal that is sure to get you shredded.
And if you want to pack on muscle, you have to check out the Greek God Program by Gregory O’Gallagher. The program is dedicated to building muscle and looking like a Greek God!
Checkout Greg in the below video:
What your body is saying says a lot about you. When you’re hunched over with neck bent it makes you look less dominant and attractive.
What men need to do is to make a concerted effort to improve your body language. This should include:
Lifting Weights: This will build the muscles of the upper back and shoulders, that will keep you upright. Plus, lifting weights has numerous benefits for enhancing your masculinity.
Stretching/Mobility: Poor posture is often caused by tightness and muscular imbalances caused by repetitive positioning. Make static stretching and dynamic mobility drills a part of your daily regimen.
In addition to those two physical behaviors, you need to make a mental note to become ‘more aware’ of your body language. For example, as you read this now, are you sitting up straight or hunched over? When you make an effort to do that consistently, you will ingrain the habit of good posture into your daily life.
When studying body language, it’s important to get a visual. Here’s a video to help you out:
If you’re looking for a phenomenal program on body language, look no further than David Deangelo’s work on body language. He was an innovator of Game and seduction, and really know his stuff. How To Get Women To Notice You, Feel Attracted To You And Start Approaching You… Without Saying A Word!
Become an Interesting Man
Imagine if a women were to ask you what makes you different and more interesting from other men. What’s your response?
A lot of guys will immediately jump to how much money they make or what kind of car they drive. While these factors are important when it comes to status, it doesn’t qualify them as being interesting.
Instead focus on questions like:
How many languages do you speak?
What countries have you been to?
Can you play an instrument?
Do you know how to dance?
Having a serious hobby or talent not only separates you from many one-dimensional men, but women are also attracted to men who are passionate about something.
In your interactions with women, don’t start bragging about your travels or talents—this will only make you come across as self-conscious. Instead, you want her to be the one to discover them. For example, you could say “Ahhh, my feet are killing me.” When she asks why tell her you were salsa dancing for hours, or that you were in a kickboxing class.
In your quest to become a more interesting, well rounded man, remember not to pursue these hobbies to please women, but to please yourself. Living for yourself instead of for others is one of the most important and attractive behaviors you can do.
‘Just be confident!’ It’s what everyone says, but few actually know what it means to be confident. Sure it’s easy to look at characters in movies and television and point out the confident guy, but to break it down to its core is another thing.
Confidence is about being comfortable with who you are and your abilities to achieve your goals and aspirations. It means that you believe you are entitled to pursue what you want, whether it is a promotion at work or a pretty girl at the bar.
Confidence, when talking to women, is showing that you belong where you are. You’re not afraid to be talking face to face to them, let alone flirting with them and declaring your intentions. Women fawn over confident men because confidence is indicative of leadership, which is a very important trait that women seek in men.
One issue that arises is how to actually go about building confidence. Again, it’s easy for people to say ‘Just be confident’ but it’s actually a journey that takes time to achieve.
A great place to start is by working on the aforementioned style and grooming, plus hitting the gym. When you look good you feel good, and you’re perceived more positively by people. From there, start pushing yourself in social situations. Bit by bit, every day. Over time you will have come a very long way.
If you want to understand more about the intricacies of confidence, here’s a fantastic TED Talk on the subject:
Make Her Laugh
Making a girl laugh is the easiest way to her heart. The reason is because people want to surround themselves with people who make them feel positive emotions. When women are around funny guys they associate these men with positive emotions.
Most guys know this, but they fail to act on it. They assume that being funny is just something you have you don’t. The reality is that being funny is a learned behavior, one that anyone can do.
There are a few factors to keep in mind in order to make women laugh their pants off (literally)…
Just Say It: Humor ties into confidence quite a bit. A lot of time people make an observation about something and want to make a joke, but they hold back. Whether it’s because they want to be politically correct or because they’re afraid people won’t laugh, this makes them seem less sure of themselves. The funniest guys out there never hold back, and speak their minds with little inhibitions.
Misinterpretation: An easy way to get a laugh out of a girl is to misinterpret something she says, preferably as sexual. For example if a girl says, “I’m so tired, I need to get home and go to bed.” You respond, “Wow, we just met and already you’re inviting me to sleep with you.” It doesn’t have to be super witty; in fact, the more juvenile it is the better.
Study Comedy: Watch standup comedians that you make you laugh hard. Study their material, their delivery, their voice pitch and more. These guys didn’t become funny by accident and neither will you.
Here’s a primer on how to develop a great sense of humor:
A more in depth program would be David Deangelo’s cocky comedy program, that shows how to use humor to get women to fall over you: How To Use Cocky Comedy To Make Women Feel Instant Attraction And Literally Addicted To Being Around You
Another reason to study comedy, or even improve, is that it really forces you out of your comfort zone. This is a fantastic way to boost confidence and you’ll notice that over time your time on stage will transfer over to the real world.
Play Hard to Get
The typical conception of modern ‘mating rituals’ is: Man meets women, man chases women, women either relents or rejects.
Can you spot the problem with this dynamic?
Too often men chase women and the women can tease the man and play hard to get. Pretty girls, for example, have numerous men flirting with them regularly. If you follow this dynamic you’re just going to be another regular guy.
What you need to do is start playing hard to get, and get her chasing you.
Too many guys are afraid of doing this. They think that if they make her work for them that they’ll lose her. And actually they’re right, she may ditch him. However, having success with women requires taking risks and this is one you must take.
In order to play hard to get, you have to flip the script and have her prove to you that she is worthy of you. Qualify her by asking questions like, “So what makes you different than other girls?”
Girls are not use to be qualified like this; they are so used to being hit on so directly. Doing this will give you tons of value and make her want to seek your approval.
What’s you have her phone number or have spent some time with her, make yourself less available. Do this by not immediately responding to texts and phone calls or turning down plans to hang out. You’ll have her scratching her head and doing everything in her power to make you hers.
If you want to know more about flirting, here’s a very in-depth video on it:
Passion and Drive
It’s a common perception that women highly value a man’s career and bank account. This is an important factor to women; however, what they value even more is a man’s drive, goals and aspirations.
They want to see that he is willing to devote his life to something. If he can do that then he will certainly be a good partner.
A guy can be loaded, but if he comes home in the evening and eats cheetohs and drinks beer, women are going to be put off. However, if a man has lofty aspirations that he works towards every day it is going to make them a better man, which in turn makes them more attractive to women.
You don’t have to start your own charity or multi-million dollar business. It only needs to be something that you genuinely care about.
Take the Lead
Although society today has done a lot to eradicate traditional gender roles, women still want a man who is masculine and takes initiative. As the man, you need to initiate conversations and actions. You pick where you want to go for a date, and what time. This is not to say that women should have a diminished role in planning and interacting, but rather because it’s what they find attractive.
For example, have you ever heard of women ‘wearing the pants in a relationship’? Yeah, usually those ones don’t turn out too well.
Although leadership is just one aspect of being masculine, it is one of the most profound. Think about it: When you are constantly making decisions and telling women what to do, it makes them become more submissive and become enthralled with your presence.
Speak Your Mind
People today often say what they should as opposed to what they want. This has created an environment where people rarely diverge from the popular opinion, or are afraid to voice theirs.
Women want men who are their own man. They don’t want a man who follows everyone else and can think for himself. As a man, you need to formulate your own opinions about things. More importantly, you must voice them!
But speaking your mind goes beyond just politics or intellectual thought; it calls for speaking out when the situation asks for it. For example, if you see someone doing something that you find reprehensible, call them out on it. Put your foot down and show that you are willing to take a risk in order to stand up for your principles.
Create a True Connection
Next time you’re in social environment, listen to the conversations between strangers. They’re bound to ask questions like:
“Where are you from?”
“What do you do?”
“Do you have any siblings?”
While these are essential questions people have to ask to get to know someone, they are usually part of a generic, boring conversation.
Instead of asking the women you meet nothing but the same old questions, ask them something unique:
“What are your dreams?”
“Where do you want to travel?”
“What’s one thing you’re afraid to admit to anyone else?”
These are questions that will delve deep into a person’s psyche. Some people may feel uncomfortable, but it’s the only way to create a genuine, lasting connection.
Women know that when strange men are talking to them it means that they just want to get in their pants. So when guys beat round the bush asking lame questions like “Where are you from?” it comes across as disingenuous because they really could care less.
If you’re going to flirt with a girl, don’t be ashamed of it. Let her know, verbally and non-verbally, that you think she’s sexy.
Touch her on her arms, neck, back and hips. Grab her hand. Kiss her.
If your goal is to get intimate with her, then at some point you’re eventually going to have to get physical, why wait?
One overlooked way to become mores sexual s to give up pornography. Although millions of men use porn and it is considered ‘normal’, the reality is that it saps the energy and drive out of men. Instead of chasing after pretty girls, they’re pleasuring themselves to pretty girls on a computer screen.
If you really want to take this to the next level, then consider giving up masturbation entirely. This won’t be easy, but it will force you to approach women to find another form of sexual release.
Create a Lifestyle Women Want to Be a Part Of
They say ‘Girls just want to have fun.’ It’s a simple maxim, but it is undoubtedly true. We tend to view women as these mysterious creatures, but at the end of the day they’re pretty similar to us guys.
If you sit at home watching Netflix every night, how can you expect women to want to be a part of your life? Do interesting stuff!
Go to art museums.
Throw fancy cocktail parties at your place.
Take a road trip ‘Just Because.’
Invite girls on these adventures, or at the very least tell them about what you’ve done and watch them melt in your hands.
Putting It All Together
What you may have noticed about all these recommendations is that they all involve bettering yourself in one way or another. This is what becoming attractive is all about—it’s becoming the best version of yourself.
When you take time each day to be just a little bit better than the day before, you’re going to come a long way. And not just when it comes to attracting more women, but for living a higher quality of life in general.
If you’re looking to take your attractiveness and seduction skills to the next level, you’ll want to check out a couple resources. The first is Models: Attract Women Through Honesty by Mark Manson. It’s a great book about understanding what it means to be an attractive man, understanding the role of emotions in relationships, and what women really want.
Another awesome product is the Tao of Badass- Always Know What to Say, Effortlessly Engage With Confidence and Turn the Heads of Hotter Women! Whereas Models is more conceptual and abstract, Tao of Badass really focuses on the concrete formula for approaching and attracting women.
That said, both of these resources complement each other well. And if you internalise them both you will undoubtedly become a more well-rounded, more attractive man.