Mark Greene Although sexuality is a highly individual idea, researchers at Chapman University have found that there are indeed common elements in sexually satisfying relationships. The study is one of the largest carried out into the subject, and it found that men and women crave very similar things. Sexual satisfaction was higher in men (and women) who had more frequent sex, tried out a variety of sexual acts and positions, communicated effectively about sex, and took the time to put their partners ‘in the mood for love’. If you are in a relationship and you’d like to spice up your sex life, take note of the following findings on men’s needs in particular.
Standing The Test Of Time
In the above-mentioned study, around half of all satisfied men said that their last lovemaking session had lasted over half an hour. You don’t have to ‘last all night’ or rival the unrealistic images you find in adult films. However, if you would like to last more than a few minutes before having an orgasm, know that it is possible. One popular method is the start-stop method, which involves taking a short pause before orgasm. Another method presented at the European Association of Urology Congress, involved performing Kegel exercises to strengthen the pelvic area and delay ejaculation.
Experimentation Is Key
Satisfied men (and women) were more likely to try a little experimentation in bed. They tended, for instance, to engage in different sexual positions, wear erotic outfits, enjoy a bath or shower with their partner, try anal stimulation, and/or use sex toys. One recent (February 2019) study published in The Journal of Sex Research found that a majority of adults reported using sex toys in partnered sex, while 45% used sex toys alone. The researchers noted that sex toys should be considered beneficial for sexual pleasure, and that this should be taken into account by sex therapists when treating couples.
Men Need To Feel More Desired
One aspect of the study that clearly showed an area that could be improved, is the sense of being desired. Findings showed that 59% of men felt less desired now than when they started their relationship. In contrast, two thirds felt as much or more desire for their partner today than in the past. Because sexual desire and satisfaction are strongly linked to feeling wanted, this is an area that many couples can arguably be counselled on, since it is important for couples to prioritize and show sexual desire for each other.
One of the most positive results of the study was the way it showed that at least half of all couples feel sexually satisfied many years after first beginning their relationship. Another is that men and women crave the same things – novelty, reasonable length of their lovemaking session, and the feeling of being desired. Couples lacking any of these ingredients who do not feel fully satisfied should consider therapy as a way to implement a few changes that can make a big difference to the quality of their sex life.
