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10 “Compliments” You Should Never Give the Modern-Day Woman

Compliments You Should Never Give the Modern-Day Woman

I often spend time with women trying to understand what turns them off instantly in men they date. It appears that the ladies have been exchanging notes on the alarmingly predictable backhanded compliments they’ve been receiving, and have sensed a pattern.

Also, they have been doing their research on how to deal with backhanded compliments, negging, and other verbal vindictiveness they are often subjected to on dates.

Here’s a list of “compliments” and comments you’ll want to avoid if you fancy seeing her again.

1. You’re not like all the other girls

True, there was a time when women loved being told they were different from the other girls. It was the classic compliment that opened doors to an 80s-style cinematic kiss. Not anymore though.

Try this line these days, and your date is likely to retort, “But what’s wrong with the other girls?”

2. You have a cute face

This is a back-handed compliment couched in disdain because it implies that her body is nothing special to write home about. Luckily though, her face is her saving grace. This girl will drop you faster than a hot potato.

3. Are you dieting? 

Unable to handle the expectations a man might have after having footed an extravagant dinner bill, women have decided it’s simpler to settle for a salad instead. For you to ask if she’s dieting is crude and uncalled for.

4. Wow, you eat a lot for a girl!

If there is anything the modern woman hates, it is men who feel entitled to comment on how much they can “eat for a girl”.

You have to be an incredibly insecure male to be threatened by a woman who confidently orders and enjoys a hearty meal (and pays for it!). 

5. So how come you’re single, you’re so pretty!

This sexist comment reduces a woman to an attractive object left on a store shelf despite its allure. Yes, she’s pretty. But she doesn’t feel the same about the men she has encountered this far. Unfortunately, even men with well-meaning intentions go wrong with this so-called pick-up line. Why not instead focus on things to say to a girl to make her laugh.

6. You don’t have a boyfriend? You must be a man-hating feminist! Or you like girls!

Plenty of women have told me that an increasing number of guys these days have been quick to label them “lesbian”, “man-hater” or “feminazi” as soon as they said they were happily single and not looking to date seriously.

Blame this blissful state of singlehood on the #metoo movement, feminism, or whatever else. But you certainly will chase the girls away with crass statements such as these.

7. Oh wow you smoke! You know it’s not good for girls to smoke

If you have no qualms about getting her to gulp down cocktails to “relax” but recoil in horror when she lights up a cigarette, it’s a double standard she will quickly figure out and consequently dump you for good. You’re better off dating a non-smoker.

8. Oh I see you’re very opinionated! Must be a feminist

The modern-day woman won’t put up with a man who speaks of nothing but himself. She’ll waste no time gauging your interest in politics, sport, cinema, and culture. 

If you can’t keep up or aren’t used to opinionated women, chances are you’ll laugh her off and silence her. If you need help in the art of making conversation effortlessly, here’s a useful link on conversation tips to talk to anyone.

9. I think you look way more beautiful without makeup

Of course, you like her without makeup (mostly thanks to the narrative that women wear makeup to attract men and signal their availability). It’s quite possible however that she enjoys makeup because she just looks and feels better with it.

It’s not for you to analyze her intentions anyway so drop that manipulative back-handed compliment ASAP.

10. What’s will all the dog pics you keep posting! Get yourself a real boyfriend instead!

This one came as a surprise to me. Women who post photos of their pets (handsome dogs in particular) are often subjected to jibes by men asking them to “go get a boyfriend instead”.

If you’re hoping she’ll be embarrassed into dating a “real man” like you, and ditch her furry soulmate, this simply isn’t going to happen. So let the ladies and their pets be!

The best way to enjoy success on a date is to be a respectful and fun conversationalist. 

Good luck and happy dating!

Written by Mark Greene

Mark Greene is writer and life coach dedicated to helping men to perform at peak level. He shares dating advice, style tips and strategies for building wealth and success.