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Groom your Groin Man! : A Detailed Instruction On How to Shave Your Balls

The modern man is a man well-groomed. This statement does not just stand for your face and torso, but also for your party region. If we’re being honest there are only two real reasons to shave your downstairs; women prefer it and it is more aesthetically pleasing.

But the task of de-cluttering the area is one not taken lightly. It is a skill as much as it is a necessity. Some of you may question the need to follow a guide for shaving your balls, but for those of you who have tried it before, it is not as easy as it sounds.

...women prefer it and it is more aesthetically pleasing.

How to shave your balls

Before you decide to go bare like a tree in winter you must first prepare for the ordeal which is about to occur.

Shaving your face can be both annoying and painful itself, never mind your journey south to its more sensitive cousin.

Manscaping and generally grooming of your downstairs is not as simple as trimming a beard, it requires more planning and a greater level of execution. Before you charge the trimmer make sure you and your partner (it's couple’s decision if we’re being completely honest) are both on board.

Something else to consider is; do you have the tools for the job? And how far do you want to take this deforestation? If you are looking for a mild feeling, then a beard trimmer/electric razor should be fine (although, maybe get a new one just for this).

...grooming of your downstairs is not as simple as trimming a beard, it requires more planning and a greater level of execution.

However, if you want a closer shave, a razor and shaving cream are essential. Either way, ensure you have some aftershave balm handy at the end.

Below are the six steps you will take to tidy your untamed forest.

Six Steps In Tidying Your Untamed Forest

Step One: Wash the area

Wash The Area

This probably sounds counter-intuitive saying you are going to be lopping it off (the hair) but having a warm shower will soften up the follicles, open up the pores ready for the shave and let the balls be easily manipulated therefore making the job much easier.

Step Two: Get Your Tools Ready

Shaving your balls properly is as much about nerve and a steady hand as it is about choosing the right tools. Once you have reduced the overall mass you need to choose a razor to get the smoothness. Rather than using a three or four bladed razor, opt for a simpler product, it will glide more smoothly over the area. These five bladed and six bladed razors Gillette are great for your face, because the skin is more robust and can handle it. The crown jewels can’t. Try out the: 

Philips Norelco Multigroom Series 3100

                     Philips Norelco Multigroom Series 3100

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Step 3: Reduce The Foliage

Now we get into the more technical aspects of the process. If you want to just tame the area, this is the end of the road, but if you want a closer shave, this will help reduce both time and effort. Getting rid of the overgrown hairs will allow you to get more closer to the stubble.

Using your electric beard trimmer, carefully remove the hairs, getting as close to the base of the follicle as you can without risking a dreaded cut.

Pro Tip: lightly grab a few of the wild strands and twist them into a spiral then trim just below the area where they join together, this allows for maximum choppage.

Step 4: Tight Rope Time

Tighten The Rope

This is where you need to up your game. In the same way you turn your face and move your mouth in a gurning fashion when shaving your beard stubble, you must pull the skin tight like a tight rope to allow the smooth movement of the blade and reduce the risk.

Before you commit the razor to the task, have a few tries or get it taught, it is better to be safe than sorry.

Step 5: Testicular Fortitude

We will now see how brave you are and how steady your hands are. This is crescendo of the entire process, the actual shave. While keeping the skin taut, pull the razor in a smooth and controlled fashion, rinsing the razor in some warm water oftenly to prevent clogging.

Be confident and careful, a mirror may be useful if you’re finding visibility difficult. Here is a pro tip to help your hands stay steady; hum a song. Humming a relatively calm but happy song will help you keep your breathing regulated and hands steady. Try not to jitter, for your own good.

Step 6: Aftercare

Now you have successfully ridded yourself of that unkempt mess which plagued your boxers, it is time for itch and pain prevention. Again, like the skin on your face following a serious shave, your nether regions will need some TLC (not that kind).

Use a cooling aftershave balm on the newly smooth area to reduce the chance of irritation. Using the balm every day until a healthy stubble emerges is advised as the skin will be sensitive for a few days. The best balm to use for this sort of treatment is the: 

Nivea Men’s Sensitive Aftershave Extra Soothing Balm

 Nivea Men’s Sensitive Aftershave  Extra Soothing Balm

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Shaving your balls can be quite an ordeal, but following these steps closely (especially four and five) will help reduce the problems and reduce the pain. For first timers, make sure to be patient and not rush it. Rushing this process will almost certainly cause some regrets. So be careful.

To prevent a constant cycle of going through all the six steps every few weeks, try and keep on top of the stubble so that when it comes time for a closer shave you don’t have to fight the whole forest, just the saplings.

What do you think?

Written by Terrence Kennedy

Terrence Kennedy is the man’s man on a journey to self-discovery. A traveler, extreme sports aficionado, an observant wanderer, a DIY-Know-How, an ultimate outsider and a documentarist of culture, sex, dating, relationship, fashion, style and gentleman's etiquette. He has learned a lot through his escapades, and is happy to pass that knowledge on to you.