Mark Greene Let’s get one thing clear right off the bat. You are never too old for sexual activity. Literally never, gentlemen, until you are either a medically confirmed “vegetable” or outright deceased. Even if you are pushing your seventh decade, and your downstairs roommate is not up to party 97% of the time, there is no need to completely resign on the sexual aspects of your life.
Toys, visuals, hands, tongues, and even feet (in safe moderation, please) can still wow your chosen lady or fellow gent. Moreover, all of that applies to your self-pleasure as well. In fact, solo happy time is your great ally in combating many of the issues that come with ripe age!
So today we’ll be looking at some ways to keep your personal pleasure alive and well even past your golden years. Enjoy!
1: Get the flow back on.
The primary reason for reduced erection occurrence in later life is the weakening of your overall blood flow. To fix that, exercise! Get the blood moving! It goes not only to your muscles, but into your sexual organs and surrounding tissues as well, which is literally how arousal happens. The more physically active you are in daily life, the faster and easier it will be to achieve an erection.
2: Take yourself “back to your place”.
Quite literally schedule a sex date with yourself. Your arousal levels fluctuate throughout the day, so pick out a time when you are in the sexiest mood and dedicate that to your own pleasure. Unsure of when that is? Test it out: orgasm comes much easier before a meal (as opposed to after, when you get all sluggish), and is hard to reach when you are tired (something you probably already know). Read more about how sleep deprivation damages your sex drive.
3: Set your own kind of mood.
Candles, violins, and lingerie are not the only staples of sexy time, no matter what movies and magazines might have you believe. If you get turned on from listening to grindcore, by all means blast it! Take a steaming shower instead of the tedious bath with petals – or if you like petals, throw them all around. Read or watch your favorite erotica, or have a sexy journal to describe and revisit your favorite fantasies. Everything is game.
4: Erotic aids are a magic land.
There is nothing “dirty” about sex toys, and they don’t mean that you are “settling for less” or “can’t handle it yourself”. That is total codswallop, guys. Pick your favorite accessory and work it your way. In terms of erotica, there is so much more than Pornhub out there. Consider sex-themed audiobooks narrated by your preferred gender, sexually charged video games, or enticing dance performances.
Remember food, too! Your hormones are basically asleep at this age. Why not entice them with a hot, spicy meal rich in the best chili peppers, or some sensual chocolate cake? “Treat yo self”, as it were.
5: Carefully choose your optimal lubricant.
Contrary to popular myth, a handful of Vaseline is rarely the best choice. Fat-based, oil-based, or wax-based lubes wreak havoc on your skin – yes, this is a problem for men too. The thin, sensitive skin of your thighs and genitals, especially the membranes of the anus and penis, is easy to provoke, clog, and tear up. Moreover, these types of lubes will disintegrate latex condoms, disrupt your intimate flora, and can even melt softer sex toys. Choose a water-based lubricant instead, and keep it within reach. Reapply frequently.
6: Always be ready for it.
Imagine the horror of just getting into your game and then realizing you need something from another room. Yikes. Have everything you might want on hand (no pun intended): your chosen lubricant, your massage oil, a small towel just in case, wet wipes, pillows, your favorite sex toys… Don’t have those? You can always find a good website to give you some playful ideas! Leave distractions like devices in some other room, and set them to Quiet Mode.
7: Enjoy your fantasies.
Imagination is a wonderful thing. You can enjoy any partners and scenes, realistic or not, “decent” or not, and nobody ever has to know. Your hot neighbor? Fine. Mermaids? Fine. No fantasy is “wrong”, remember. Your mind is your most versatile sex toy, so take full advantage of its capacities!
8: Remember to go exploring.
Our erogenous zones and preferred stimulation change with the years. The stuff that turned you on in your 20s or 30s may not float your boat anymore, which is perfectly fine. Use the chance to rediscover your pleasure! Never mind your sexual history. Start from ground zero, just like a curious, eager new lover.
9: Low mood is your biggest pitfall.
Seriously, even if you feel like you are not quite in a sexy mood, go for a few minutes with yourself. There are some tried and true tips for getting yourself back into the playful mindset, which you can pick up at this web page.
It is too easy to drop your solo sex life on the bench and leave it sitting there. Once you fall out of the habit, getting back up again is all the harder. So be that pesky “for your own good” friend and remind your sex glands that they still need (and want!) some fun release.
10: What to do when you have no inspiration
Of course, sometimes all of this will seem… unappetizing. Inspiration is a fickle mistress, and the more often she runs away, the harder it is to get her back. So try luring her at a gentle pace: give yourself just one or two orgasms per week. The physical arousal triggers the mental one – which in turn triggers the physical one – see where we are going with this? It’s okay to take it easy and stick to the basics. Get creative again when you feel like it.
