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Conversation Cues: Things to Talk About with a Girl

Have you ever had to suffer the torture of a date with an awkward girl? The two of you looking in any direction except at each other, your mouths filled with nothing, waiting for one of you to call of the torment and end the date early.

Dates, especially the first ones, are always a little unsettling, which can make it difficult to strike up a conversation with the hot piece of interlocutor on the other end of the table.

topics to get a girl talking

But you need to get her talking or the whole affair is going to turn out to be a nightmare for you both. You scour your mind: Do you think she wants to hear about your football team, last weekend when your mates threw up at a party or how many hours you can spend on your PS4 without having a seizure?

No; you need to get her talking about herself, not just pretending to listen to your interests. So, what you really need is to talk about topics that would interest her as well as you. That way you can turn the whole uncomfortable situation into one where you actually find each other especially interesting.

But how do you do that; especially if you don’t know the first thing about her? Well, it’s easy actually; and it will make the date go a lot more smoothly and far more comfortably for the both of you.

Here are some topics to bear in mind:

Topics to Get a Girl Talking​

"Tell me about yourself..."

Right, this one is actually a little more involved than it sounds. Generally, when people say ‘tell me about yourself’, it makes for pretty poor follow up conversation. It is a very vague and general topic, and no one likes having to make formal introductions and descriptions of themselves, its damn uncomfortable.

A far better approach is to think up some questions that will get her talking about herself. What do you do on weekends? Do you have any favorite restaurants or pubs around here? What are your friends like, and so on.

People love to talk about themselves, so long as the questions aren’t all too pressing. But while you’re getting her talking so that the atmosphere loosens up a bit, you are also finding more out about her, which means you’ll know where you can start directing the conversation if it seems to be flaking a bit.

Travel and Adventure

If you’re talking to a human-being then the chances are that you are talking to someone who grapples with being stuck in the mundane rut of everyday life; which means that to some extent or another, they are dreaming of their own unique idea of what an escape from that life may entail.

Travel and adventure inspire excellent conversational topics in even the most clammed-up of mouths, and everyone has their idea of what paradise should be.

So, ask her if she has travelled, if she intends to again, and where in the world she would go if she has a choice. This is a massive world (galaxy even) with an endless collection on mind-bogglingly epic places; so, it’s a topic that won’t run dry all too quickly.

​Remember though that it is not an interrogation. It’s a good idea to get her to do most of the talking, but you need to leak out some information about your own ideas of travel if you want her to feel like she’s getting you to talk.

Art and Culture

Everybody has some type of cultural entertainment addiction, so why not get her talking about hers with some pretty simple questions like: ‘are you into any books?’, ‘what kind of movies do you like’, ‘what music are you into’ or even ‘do you play any games’.

Of course, this may force you to brush up on knowledge in areas where you may be lacking. Spend a few hours on Netflix and even actually open up (and try to finish) a novel. I’ve met very few girls who don’t have an interest in books, not that that’s the reason I enjoy reading.

Just tell it like it is and break the silence...

Sometimes, despite your best efforts, coming up with something to talk about can be near impossible, at which point a little humor could help break the ice, at least for a little bit.

The best way to do this during awkward moments, is to come right out and point out the situation by saying something like: “They say that the best dates start out a little awkwardly, I personally try to be a little awkward at the beginning of dates.”

It will help the two of you laugh the situation off which will help the two of you warm to each other enough to be comfortable chatting with each other.

Topics to Avoid

There are a number of topics that are interesting to discuss, but also pose the risk of heating up the atmosphere in a bad way. We live in a world filled with conflicting opinions and those that hold them, hold them closely.


Religion is a massive argument starter, in fact it has resulted in countless wars across history. There are some 4200 recognized religions in the world, not including atheism and those with unique personal beliefs.

If the topic comes up and the two of you share similar principals, then you are in luck and have a lot to discuss with each other. If on the other hand the two of you have conflicting beliefs, it is better to avoid the topic if possible.


These days, politics generates a fire that could end up burning the world down, and it is fractioned by sides with vehement followers.

While a political debate is always worth hours of entertaining content, they make staying civil with each other incredibly difficult in some cases; especially when alcohol is concerned.

If you want to retain any respect the two of you have for each other during a conversation, then keep politics of the table.


We all have countless tales of dodgy exes that we would simply love to share with members of the opposite sex, but you run the risk of rattling off about stuff she might very well not want to ever hear about.

Of course, her curiosity will get the better of her and she will end up listening (or vice-versa) which will result in one of you opening up way more than you should.


From a biological perspective; yes, you are both there in that awkward situation for one reason, sex (at least in the long run anyway). But there is a way to approach these sorts of things.

Especially if it is a first date, the topic of sex could have you coming on far too strong, and could also make you look a little too alpha. Keep it clean and respectable while still showing some hint of interest.

Remember, you are not chatting with your mates at the bar, being crude or forward might just upset her; causing her to keep her words and affections to herself.


This world is filled with enough showboating, pumped-up bro’s, so don’t be a part of this exceptionally off-putting problem. While a guy with confidence is always attractive, a guy with too much of it can be a little difficult to spend time with.

While it is necessary to speak a bit about yourself, don’t fall into the trap of making it all about you. This will put her off quicker than you could down a protein shake.

Keep in mind what I said in the beginning of the article, that you should try to keep her talking for the most part, while adding points of interest for yourself here and there to relate to what she is saying.

Still got nothing to say?

So, after all of this, you’re still wondering what topics in particular make for good conversations with a girl, well here are some of the best ones to get a conversation flowing according to the School of Social Skills:

1. Her favorite childhood memories

2. Does she have any surprising skills?

3. What is the best compliment she has ever received?

4. How is she a rebel?

5. Where would she go if time-travel were possible?

6. What event in her life has changed its direction?

7. What is the strangest job she has ever had?

8. Does she have any guilty pleasures?

9. Which chores does she hate and love the most?

What does she think is her greatest achievement?

Keep in mind what I said in the beginning of the article, that you should try to keep her talking for the most part, while adding points of interest for yourself here and there to relate to what she is saying.


Getting people to talk about themselves, and indeed doing it yourself can be difficult at the best of times, especially if you are not a particularly confident person. This situation is often only heightened by the tensions and expectations behind being on a date with someone that you have yet to develop a connection with. But with this information arming your belt, you should have little trouble dispelling the thick air of anxiety hanging over your next date.

Written by Terrence Kennedy

Terrence Kennedy is the man’s man on a journey to self-discovery. A traveler, extreme sports aficionado, an observant wanderer, a DIY-Know-How, an ultimate outsider and a documentarist of culture, sex, dating, relationship, fashion, style and gentleman's etiquette. He has learned a lot through his escapades, and is happy to pass that knowledge on to you.