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Ex partner’s obsession. 5 Tips to Break the Bond Between You

5 Tips to Break the Bond Between You

If you’ve ever watched the TV show “You,” you know that ex partner’s obsessions are real. If you’ve ever been in a toxic relationship, you know exactly how breaking up feels. For the person who’s escaped the relationship, the breakup feels like a breath of fresh air. For the lover who can’t let go, the breakup feels like a shot in the face. No matter which position you’re in, it’s time to let go. Any toxic relationship resembles drug addiction. It gives you a feeling of ecstasy and utopia but then, it sucks all the energy out of you. Here is a short guide on how you can break the bond between you and your ex-partner, and restart living life to the fullest. 

Girl Stressed

Start living in the real world

You can fantasize all you want, but that won’t get you anywhere. It’s time to start living in the present moment, mindfully. This is your time to heal, so taking all the necessary steps to reach this goal is essential. You must start by understanding that your relationship ended for a reason. Here are two rules to remember. 

  1. Toxic relationships suck the energy out of both partners
  2. Toxic relationships never “improve”

Stop telling yourself lies. It’s time to look at things as they are and realize that you two are not meant to be. Stop trying to understand this or that by recalling the past. Stop trying to imagine how “things could’ve been better.” The truth is, they wouldn’t have. They never will. A toxic relationship develops when two parties are incompatible. 

In a nutshell: what you are imagining is not actually happening, so stop daydreaming. It’s time to regain your power.

Take things step by step

A toxic relationship takes time to become toxic. That being said, you must have dated for a good amount of time. Since you got used to your partner, breaking the bond between you is hard. Understand this and don’t judge yourself for it. These types of traumas take time to heal. Start by offering yourself love and affection each day. Start a daily meditation practice. Make decisions based on the factors at hand. Stop waiting for something to happen—even if it does, that’s not your problem anymore. You need to leave this relationship ASAP. 

Take things as they come. Do things that you enjoy and start taking better care of yourself. Forgive both you and them for making the relationships unhealthy. Start understanding why this happened, and how you can prevent it from happening ever again. Start healing. You could consult with a therapist and get a second opinion if you find it fit. Speaking your thoughts is important in these moments, it helps you understand yourself better. 

Only make decisions that are good for you

Your only focus now should be self-care. Try to avoid talking to other potential partners for now. This time it’s about you; not about them, not about someone else. Stop running away from yourself, it’s time to confront the solitude and wait for your feelings to pass. That doesn’t mean ignoring your feelings; it simply means feeling them. Don’t try to reach out to them for reassurance. Learn how to accept your emotions and be with them. If you don’t feel them now, they’ll come back later. Learn how to be free now. Take care of yourself

Talk to yourself in a compassionate way, understand yourself, be open to receiving love from yourself. Stop beating yourself up for what “could’ve been.” That passed, it’s time for a new beginning. 

Establish limits

The next step is establishing clear limits. It’s time to draw a line and think about what you’ll accept from now on… and what you won’t. This is how you can regain your life. For example, you could write down a list of do’s and don’ts. “I will not sleep with anyone until I feel a deep connection,” for instance, or “I will not argue with someone who’s high or drunk,” “I will not obsess over someone ever again.” Set some well-established rules and guide yourself after them. 

Build a better life 

It’s time to build a better life for yourself. You cannot get stuck in the past, that won’t get you anywhere. It’s time to start reliving your life the right way. Start by making plans with your friends. Go out, have fun, stop thinking about dating for a while. Start a new hobby, develop a new habit, start working out, do what you really enjoy. Don’t forget to journal! This will help you out a lot. 

Next thing is developing only healthy relationships. Make friends that matter, go out with people who speak to you, don’t let yourself be impressed by anyone and anything. Start gaining back your confidence. Be yourself, and let your life unfold the right way. Stop controlling, start jamming!

Grace Scott is a Political Journalist and traveler from Kirton who works for College-Paper. She loves to explore new people, places, psychology and write and estimate International Politics. Find Grace on Facebook.

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Written by Mark Greene

Mark Greene is writer and life coach dedicated to helping men to perform at peak level. He shares dating advice, style tips and strategies for building wealth and success.