Mark Greene
Words That Can Ruin a Woman’s Orgasm
Communicating during sex is essential, especially if you are in a new relationship and only getting to know each other. It allows you to share your wishes, feelings, and even sexual fantasies with your partner more effectively while still respecting each other’s boundaries. As a result, you get quality sex and a more intimate relationship.
However, there are some phrases, words, or questions capable of reducing your and your partner’s arousal to zero. For example, spontaneous use of dirty talk may not be rewarded with more intense moaning – that’s why experts from siliconwives.com recommend starting lightly and gradually escalating or get your partner’s opinion on it before having sex.
Apart from inappropriately used dirty phrases, some ordinary words also have the potential to ruin your night. Below, you will find several examples of what not to say during sex and what to say instead. Do yourself – and your partner – a favor and keep reading!
“How’s your mom doing?”
Keeping arguments out of your bed as well as not discussing family matters during sex seems like an obvious thing, but for some people, it takes practice to learn it. The thing is, you will find another moment to catch up on which chores need to be done soon, which relatives to call this week, and how the work meetings went. Now is the time to concentrate on a much more enjoyable activity.
Besides, in contrast to flirting, you don’t want to say anything ambiguous during intercourse in order not to imply anything weird accidentally. Moreover, bringing other people into bed, even by just mentioning them, can make things uncomfortable (unless it’s one of the fantasies you’ve discussed earlier).
“You can do it if you want to”
Sex is all about mutual desire in the first place, and communicating your wishes and fantasies will indeed make it better. However, agreeing to something by saying “do what you want” may sound a bit aloof, making your partner feel like you are not interested in the process as a whole. As a result, their excitement is much more likely to evaporate.
So, if you don’t feel like doing something, it is better to voice it out or offer something else instead of remaining indifferent. The same applies to agreeing to something you really enjoy or are excited to try – expressing your wishes and being confident about them will make your partner only more aroused.
“My ex did it like this…”
Talking about exes can be uncomfortable even when you are both fully clothed. And it ushers in a whole new level of weirdness when something like this pops up in bed. So, if you want to try some new techniques with a new partner or explain to them which moves, positions or touches bring you the most pleasure, it is better to restrain yourself from mentioning your ex-partners.
One of the most rewarding ways to give your new partner the key to your orgasms is not by remembering your past experiences but by simply showing them how to do it. Nobody’s a mind-reader, and only you know what does wonders for you in bed.
“Uh, can you please grab my phone?”
Indeed, we’re living in a crazy world of new technologies, digital environments, and professions that may require us to be available 24/7. However, that still does not mean that you shouldn’t be capable of allocating at least half an hour from time to time for yourself and your partner. Don’t let bad news or workplace “urgencies” ruin your night. Just let it go to voicemail.
And as for the people who scroll their newsfeeds and notifications while having sex, there is a special section of hell reserved for them. So, even if you have to answer your phone right here, right now – make it quick and do not dwell on it.
“Are you done yet?”
First of all, it’s quite rude, because – let’s be honest – everybody knows when the other person is finished. And if you’re worried about being misled by fake moans and sighs on the other side, be sure that when the true orgasm comes, you’ll feel it, not only hear.
Secondly, you don’t want any additional pressure in your bedroom (at least not mentally). So, instead of asking something like “Are you going to come?” or “Are you done?”, try and ask how they are feeling at this very moment or if there is anything they want you to do right now – for example, use a sex toy to bring mutual climax closer.
And if you’re simply tired or just don’t feel like continuing anymore, it’s better to say so rather than try to rush the other person. That way, you won’t spoil the overall experience, especially if your partner is delighted with the process itself.
Besides, perceiving an orgasm as a bonus rather than a primary goal of each intercourse will allow both of you to focus more on your bodily sensations and exclude any undesirable pressure. As a result, you will receive much more joy and satisfaction alongside the higher possibility of achieving an orgasm. It’s that simple!
Final Note
Communicating during sex is important, but it may also be tricky – especially when you’re aroused and so excited and words just pop out of your mouth. Fortunately, there are enough ways to avoid a disaster in the bedroom. Those include being mindful of your partner’s wishes and feelings and not saying out loud anything that simply does not belong in bed.
So, if you have some unfinished discussions, it is better to wait for a more convenient moment. And if they bother you too much, make sure to deal with them before having sex. And when it comes to doing or saying something you are not sure about, just ask your partner how they feel about it.
Yes, it might seem like it’s not as passionate as acting instinctively. But if you have to decide between being respectful or turning it into a total bummer, the choice is quite obvious, isn’t it?
